How can I help this family....I need ideas on how to handle it.

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Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on October 29, 2009 at 2:48pm

Jessica. What a wonderful gift to offer! Don't feel bad about coming off rude - you can't when your gift is from the heart. I'm sure she knows how much you care from your ongoing support. I would simply call her and say that as a gift to her, you'd like to come and take on some of her chores around the house so she can spend time on herself - maybe she can go get a manicure, facial or massage while you clean and either care for her son or find a sitter. She can't be anything but grateful and relieved to have you for a friend. It's also important to get the home opened up and light again for all of their health and well-being.

You rock! I wish I lived near you so I could help, too. Keep us posted! Have you told her about 29Gifts? Might be a good prescription. :-)

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Permalink Reply by genuine, wwt, welcomer on October 29, 2009 at 3:40pm

She sure must be drained ... emotionally and physically, probably.

Perhaps you could offer to come over and take care of her son so that she can go out and do something on her own ... then while you are there you could do a few things around the house, like dishes, etc.

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Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on October 29, 2009 at 5:29pm

Great suggestion!

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Permalink Reply by Sissy on October 29, 2009 at 5:07pm

Having been on the receiving end of just such kind of help after a rare open heart surgery, I would just give her a hug and tell her it's your turn to pass on the good that has been given to you and, when her life takes a better turn, she is to pass it on to another. Eventually we reach everyone!

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Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on October 29, 2009 at 5:29pm

Very nice, as well, Sissy.

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Permalink Reply by Joanne on October 30, 2009 at 8:59am

When our eighteen month old son died from an accident a friend came over with rubber gloves, container of cleaning supplies and told me to sit and watch her clean. I had been completely overtaken by despair and could not function. She then told me about when her son drowned how someone also came to her rescue the same way. I was so thankful and have continued on her legacy.

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Permalink Reply by Deb~ Community Manager on October 30, 2009 at 10:05am

You are a wonderful and caring person. What a great gift that would be for your friend. Hopefully her days will be brighter soon. Happy day and smiles your way:)

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Permalink Reply by Shannon on October 31, 2009 at 9:31am

What a wonderful idea!

Maybe you could tell her that you're giving her the gift of your time for a day, and she gets to decide what you do. This way, if getting the laundry done is much more important to her than dishes (or whatever the case may be) she'll have the opportunity to tell you that.

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Permalink Reply by Cindy on October 31, 2009 at 5:32pm

There is nothing rude about a loving gesture. We simply offer and show up. Caring when someone is so totally occupied with family trauma is a special calling. Your friend is lucky to have you in her life.

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Permalink Reply by kandmvds on November 1, 2009 at 8:25am

What an amazing offer and gift of service! If I were on the receiving end, I wouldn't consider it rude, especially if it were presented in a way that made me feel like there was someone who wanted to take care of me, even for a little while.

Bless you!

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Ormsby on November 1, 2009 at 10:37am

This is a wonderful idea. Also something to think about, the child may need a change of scenery too as usually they absorb everything the parents are going through. Maybe you know someone with kid/s the same age that could take him for a play date some afternoon and give him/her a break too or maybe your husband can take him to a kid movie for an afternoon.

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Permalink Reply by Lizzie on November 1, 2009 at 7:01pm

House cleaning is a great gift!

Taking care of a loved one with cancer really does drain you in a way only those who have had to do it can understand. Being a caregiver is one of the hardest jobs you can ever do. I know just your meals have been a great help to her and her family.

Some cleaning services ( in some states ) offer free house for women with Breast Cancer - I am sure they do it for other cancer patients too. Check out this web site:

www.cleaningforcancer.com

I'm sure there are more if your state is not on there.

I don't think she will find you rude - just tell her you want to help out. If this is something that has been going on for a long time she may just feel like she can no longer ask for favors - that she has used them all up. Now is the time she needs people like you the most.

You have a great heart! Thank you for helping them!

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