Is "being honest" considered "giving"?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on March 16, 2010 at 7:43pm

YES! Most definitely a gift on your part. I would have done the same and not just because I have the same ailments (Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Pain). My parents taught me that honesty is the best policy and I hold that philosophy near and dear to my heart. It hasn't failed me yet.

Mary
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Permalink Reply by Deb~ Community Manager on March 17, 2010 at 12:09pm

It certainly is a gift Joni~ I am surprised by the reaction but you did the right thing and you know you did it too. I am so proud of you~ Some may have just let it go but you are so honest and sincere~ It is always best to be honest~ Bravo to you :o)

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Permalink Reply by Joni S. on March 17, 2010 at 5:12pm

Thank you both SO much for replying. I had actually forgotten about this! I think I felt SO badly about me feeling like someone should have at least said "Thank You" to which I would have replied "Oh, you're welcome" and immediateley forgotten it that when she said absolutely NOTHING to me, it totally changed how I felt about things!! lol at myself!! Then, when she did NOT say "Thank You" I figured OK, THAT was my "giving for the day ~ I gave my gift of Honesty" and I even said it out loud!! Possibly it had been that she was surprised that she didn't thank me!! lol! Who knows WHY things happen yet at times I still question "Why?"!

I told a friend on the phone today that I feel "God takes good care of babies, fools and old people so that's great. I'm covered 2 times"!!!!! lol!! (and I'm NO baby!!) Thanks again ~ so much ~ for responding to my post!

Big Hugs!

Joni

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Permalink Reply by Judi on April 27, 2010 at 7:04am

Yes Joni, it is most definitely a gift..always..to be honest. And you know, even if it was not acknowledged that you did the right thing. Good for you!!

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Permalink Reply by Ana on April 28, 2010 at 10:17am

I will say it: THANK YOU for BEING HONEST, I am sure Blessings are on the way for you. Love and Light and a Thousand Smiles, Ana

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Permalink Reply by criala on May 1, 2010 at 11:19am

Hi, Joni,
Bummer when people are not in an appreciative state to receive our gifts, or we theirs. I remember being so out of sorts after my mother died. I was taking boxes of her belongings to ups to ship to my home. A woman held the door for me at the ups place, and then commented at my ingratitude, when I didn't thank her. I almost said, "Hey, my mother just died and I can't function right now, okay?" So maybe that pharmacy employee was in a rough space in her life on that day.
It also sounds to me like your gift was to yourself that day-- to honor your own integrity. And it was a gift to your mother, to show her that you are living by her teachings, even after she has gone. Both are very powerful.

Best to you.
Criala

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Permalink Reply by Joni S. on May 3, 2010 at 3:21am

Awwww...........you all are SO sweet! Thank you so very much for your precious comments. I cannot tell you just how much they mean to me.

I never doubted that I did the right thing. I knew I had done properly and I could see Mama smiling her precious smile. You're right about the Pharmacist. Perhaps she was having a bad day and she DID act sort of stunned that I let her know to charge me more money!! lol!! Possibly she was herself surprised so she never thanked me and in turn it affected me some.

You have ALL been so sweet to me as everyone has been with I think 2-3 items I've posted. I'm coming up on 29 years with MS in November 2010 and I'm doing great! I knew I was doing great when I passed the 5 year mark and wasn't confined to a wheelchair! I pretty much do as I want and I KNOW just how Blessed I am and I never, ever 'take that for granted'. I definitely believe in Karma and I know that truly 'what goes around comes around'. With that being the case my honesty will always prevail. I am very pleased that Mama taught me that way and I shall remain just the way I am for the remainder of my life!

Not stubborn, just honest!! lol!!

Hugs!

Joni

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Permalink Reply by criala on May 3, 2010 at 4:46am

Hi, Joni,
Maybe you can give me some insight on how I can shift my disappointment in my young niece and nephew. When there mom was alive, she would insist they write their relatives to thank them for birthday and Christmas gifts. Now that she's deceased, they rarely acknowledge any gifts. My niece is 17 and her brother 23. I know we're supposed to give a gift without expecting in return, but I have to admit that when there is no acknowledgement at all of a gift, I don't feel like giving them gifts anymore. I don't like feeling that way. Any experience you can share would be appreciated.

And congratulations on maintaining your health and mobility for all these years. What an inspiration!

Criala

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Permalink Reply by Joni S. on May 3, 2010 at 6:19pm

Hi Criala,

After having taken in a friend's 24 year old son (and knowing how my own son is!) I can't imagine how busy the lives of the kids are. This one has no living Mother either. I'm pretty much a 'fill in' Mom! I know that this one saw his mother being beaten by his father (in an attempt to get her heart beating again) and by EMTs,,,and then he watched her die at 47 years old. A drug overdose. So sad but so true too. I had known her since childhood and never knew of anything like that. I would have attempted to help her, although I don't know that I could have helped at all. This one has been in and out of trouble and at this time is attempting to, with some persuasion and assistance, to get his life on the proper track. He is signed up for college and just NEEDS some kind words, a loving place to call 'home' and positive reinforcement. I will tell you that I don't know how most kids today get through to their 20s......and then on. There has been such an extreme change from when *I* was a child. Children today (I have noticed in MANY kids) weren't taught "Respect". I'm astonished by how many 'kids' truly don't KNOW how to respect. I certainly taught my son how to respect but HE and his wife are not teaching my Grandsons how to respect. I was to be "Grandma Joni". I DON'T THINK SO! MY grandchild WILL NOT call me by my first name so I quickly changed that to "Gram". Granted, they have 4 sets of grandparents and great grandparents (which are called by their first names) but *I* just WILL NOT have it. I am due more respect than that so I called that down right away.

Criala the only thing I could possibly suggest would be to attempt to get closer to them. Let them know that you EXPECT to be respected enough that YOU DESERVE AND EXPECT a 'Thank You Note' when you give them something. Tell Them!! IF they don't know they certainly may make a change just so they can receive again ~ aka: some sort of forced respect!!!!!!! LOL! Even then they will do what YOU THINK (and I KNOW) is the proper thing to do when someone gives you a gift.

Today, teaching respect has to apparently be forced! It appears you may have to FORCE them to respect you enough to send you a thank you note or letter after you give to them ~ and that is NOT a bad thing to know in life!! That is just very, very basic ~ *I* believe!! They may come to you and thank you for instilling that in them one day if you can do it now while they are young. Do you believe that could be done? They just may figure it's worth a letter to continue receiving gifts from you to write a thank you note or letter!!! ~ although you should not have to force them BUT if you can teach them that IF they don't thank others, others will not WANT to give to them, that just may be a HUGE lesson in life for them. A manner of "forced respect" may just be what they need!!

I hope this has helped and sounds like 'reasonable advice' to you!! It's what *I* would do!!

Hugs!

Joni

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Permalink Reply by criala on May 4, 2010 at 4:38am

Hi, Joni,
Thanks for your insights. It does seem to be a generational thing. When my Calif sister's family send me a Christmas present, I always write and mail a thank you note to them so that my 13 yr old niece knows that thank you notes are not just for kids to do.
In the past, I've sent the 17 yr old niece gifts, and inside wrote, "please call or e-me that you have received this so I know it arrived safely," but never received any response from her. Last year, she e'd me on her own when I sent her an iPod, but that was the last time I've heard from her. I will consider gently informing her that I deserve the courtesy of a simple thank you for gifts received.

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Permalink Reply by Joni S. on May 4, 2010 at 8:57am

It just might work wonders when you let her know that you would like (or expect to receive) a reply. It's amazing what kids will do to 'get things'!!

I do hope this helps in some manner...

Joni

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Permalink Reply by criala on May 4, 2010 at 10:17am

Thanks, Rhonda! I may go to that tactic. Would like to do so without "shaming" them, tho. One of my half-sisters is interesting in the gift department. If she likes I gift I have sent her, she'll thank me. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't say or write anything at all. To me, it's common courtesy to say to the giver, "thank you for thinking of me," even if I don't like/won't use their gift. We live in an interesting world, dont' we.

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