THROW ME A BONE: REMEMBERING TO GIVE TO OURSELVES
I was talking today with a friend and student. She was talking about what she wanted in her life. She felt so stuck, that she had done all this work and nothing seemed to have changed and manifested and how alone she felt.
I reminded her that 13 years ago this young woman came to San Francisco in her late twenties and opened a business which is now coming to its tenth year, a business that has a lot of competition in San Francisco, yet hers is still thriving. She also managed to buy herself an apartment in a beautiful part of the city. She is healthy, beautiful and loving, how much she has to give to another. She talked about wanting to fall in love, how alone she felt and how everything seemed to be working against her.
After a while of listening I asked her to stop and I said that I wasn’t hearing in her words that she was in love with herself, and that a teacher of mine told me when we are lonely it is because we are unable to truly be alone with ourselves. She said she had just been in two beautiful places and each time she returned home she felt depressed. I explained that the longing was a longing to find home inside. That right now she is being called to re look at her life. Home, is connected to the earth element, which is connected to finding home in ourselves our heart is connected to abundance which is connected to self worth, she had also just completed an earth ritual.
Whilst I listened I heard, not enough, what is wrong with me, where is my abundance, what do I still need to make me feel complete, I need another to make me happy. Low self worth, low self worth and low self worth. It was one of those conversations that does not let up and she was spinning. Sound familiar? Can I at least be thrown a bone, she said finally. Bones I reminded her help us to reremember why we are here, go to the marrow and get the nourishment you need. Chew it and play with it and see what happens.
I hear this a lot in my divinations, and today I ask that we give 29 gifts to ourselves. Complete any 29 day gift cycle you are in and then begin a 29 day gift cycle to yourself. Start each day with gratitude for what you do have, as gratitude keeps the heart open. Then every day speak a prayer into a bowl of water and take that water and pour it into a plant.
Then start the day with a gift to yourself, a lovely bath, a treat, a massage, time to yourself. A few pages of that book you have always wanted to have time to read. A call to a friend who genuinely listens. Go into nature, or the ocean, take a walk, a nap, spend a little extra on a lovely meal, buy that dress or shirt, watch a funny movie, go to an exhibition, do some artwork, listen to a favorite piece of music you used to love, ask for help. Anything that makes you feel alive, full, joyful grateful. We can't do this alone.
Find time to give love to yourself, love your self, every day for 29 days, and there after. Being born is validation that you are enough.
I reminded her that 13 years ago this young woman came to San Francisco in her late twenties and opened a business which is now coming to its tenth year, a business that has a lot of competition in San Francisco, yet hers is still thriving. She also managed to buy herself an apartment in a beautiful part of the city. She is healthy, beautiful and loving, how much she has to give to another. She talked about wanting to fall in love, how alone she felt and how everything seemed to be working against her.
After a while of listening I asked her to stop and I said that I wasn’t hearing in her words that she was in love with herself, and that a teacher of mine told me when we are lonely it is because we are unable to truly be alone with ourselves. She said she had just been in two beautiful places and each time she returned home she felt depressed. I explained that the longing was a longing to find home inside. That right now she is being called to re look at her life. Home, is connected to the earth element, which is connected to finding home in ourselves our heart is connected to abundance which is connected to self worth, she had also just completed an earth ritual.
Whilst I listened I heard, not enough, what is wrong with me, where is my abundance, what do I still need to make me feel complete, I need another to make me happy. Low self worth, low self worth and low self worth. It was one of those conversations that does not let up and she was spinning. Sound familiar? Can I at least be thrown a bone, she said finally. Bones I reminded her help us to reremember why we are here, go to the marrow and get the nourishment you need. Chew it and play with it and see what happens.
I hear this a lot in my divinations, and today I ask that we give 29 gifts to ourselves. Complete any 29 day gift cycle you are in and then begin a 29 day gift cycle to yourself. Start each day with gratitude for what you do have, as gratitude keeps the heart open. Then every day speak a prayer into a bowl of water and take that water and pour it into a plant.
Then start the day with a gift to yourself, a lovely bath, a treat, a massage, time to yourself. A few pages of that book you have always wanted to have time to read. A call to a friend who genuinely listens. Go into nature, or the ocean, take a walk, a nap, spend a little extra on a lovely meal, buy that dress or shirt, watch a funny movie, go to an exhibition, do some artwork, listen to a favorite piece of music you used to love, ask for help. Anything that makes you feel alive, full, joyful grateful. We can't do this alone.
Find time to give love to yourself, love your self, every day for 29 days, and there after. Being born is validation that you are enough.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Arisana Tolomei on -
I LOVE it! Yes, we all deserve to gift ourselves as well as others. It's so much easier to give to someone else because of the way we've been socialized. This is definitely the way to bring out the Goddess in each of us! Namaste, Arisana
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on -
Yes Arisana remembering both is important.
Love Mbali
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Permalink Reply by Cindy on -
This is a great idea and comes at a perfect time! I'm just finishing up a 29-Day cycle of "giving when I don't feel like it" and have found that it really connects me with my feelings and it is a caring and loving thing to do - to give when I feel angry, frustrated, hot and tired, or simply hurt.
Making conscious gifts to myself for a cycle seems like a great way to build on this self-care. I especially like the idea of speaking a prayer into a bowl of water and then pouring it on a plant! What a wonderful way to connect myself with the earth! Thank you!
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on
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Hi Cyndy
yes isnt it amazing that giving connects us with our feelings it will be interesting to see if the same things come up when you give to yourself
Blessings Mbali
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Permalink Reply by Arisana Tolomei on
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I'm really enjoying giving intentionally and so look forward to my next cycle where I WILL gift myself for 29 days! I'd love to hear more ideas about how others are gifting themselves. Peace and harmony, Arisana
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Permalink Reply by Elly Rose on -
All right, my next round will be 29 gifts to me. I think it will be hard, a much more challenging round than normal. I am looking forward to this round and all that I will learn. I love the bowl of water, prayer and plant. I have a black thumb and usually kill my plants, so this also will be a challenge. Thank-you Mbali for this new challenge.
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on
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Elly! Black thumb thats funny
Yes keep us posted !
Blessings Mbali
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Permalink Reply by Arisana Tolomei on
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Elly, I'm sure you can find other gifts to yourself that flow naturally! I look forward to hearing how it unfolds for you. Peace and joy, Arisana
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Permalink Reply by Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder on -
wise words: "when we are lonely it is because we are unable to truly be alone with ourselves."
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Crowley on -
What a wonderful notion, giving to ourselves. As women we often focus our attention on making others happy thereby neglecting ourselves. We must be reminded to take care of ourselves, so thank you, Mbali, for doing that.
I feel an awakening and a renewal approaching in my life as a result of 29 gifts. Today I started reading the book, and today I just happened upon this wonderful community. I'm blessed and thankful for you and the positive vibrations you're putting forth into the world.
With gratitude,
Stephanie
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Permalink Reply by Arisana Tolomei on
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Welcome Stephanie!
Peace and harmony, Arisana
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on
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Stephanie
Great ! Welcome
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Your welcome:)
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