THROW ME A BONE: REMEMBERING TO GIVE TO OURSELVES
I was talking today with a friend and student. She was talking about what she wanted in her life. She felt so stuck, that she had done all this work and nothing seemed to have changed and manifested and how alone she felt.
I reminded her that 13 years ago this young woman came to San Francisco in her late twenties and opened a business which is now coming to its tenth year, a business that has a lot of competition in San Francisco, yet hers is still thriving. She also managed to buy herself an apartment in a beautiful part of the city. She is healthy, beautiful and loving, how much she has to give to another. She talked about wanting to fall in love, how alone she felt and how everything seemed to be working against her.
After a while of listening I asked her to stop and I said that I wasn’t hearing in her words that she was in love with herself, and that a teacher of mine told me when we are lonely it is because we are unable to truly be alone with ourselves. She said she had just been in two beautiful places and each time she returned home she felt depressed. I explained that the longing was a longing to find home inside. That right now she is being called to re look at her life. Home, is connected to the earth element, which is connected to finding home in ourselves our heart is connected to abundance which is connected to self worth, she had also just completed an earth ritual.
Whilst I listened I heard, not enough, what is wrong with me, where is my abundance, what do I still need to make me feel complete, I need another to make me happy. Low self worth, low self worth and low self worth. It was one of those conversations that does not let up and she was spinning. Sound familiar? Can I at least be thrown a bone, she said finally. Bones I reminded her help us to reremember why we are here, go to the marrow and get the nourishment you need. Chew it and play with it and see what happens.
I hear this a lot in my divinations, and today I ask that we give 29 gifts to ourselves. Complete any 29 day gift cycle you are in and then begin a 29 day gift cycle to yourself. Start each day with gratitude for what you do have, as gratitude keeps the heart open. Then every day speak a prayer into a bowl of water and take that water and pour it into a plant.
Then start the day with a gift to yourself, a lovely bath, a treat, a massage, time to yourself. A few pages of that book you have always wanted to have time to read. A call to a friend who genuinely listens. Go into nature, or the ocean, take a walk, a nap, spend a little extra on a lovely meal, buy that dress or shirt, watch a funny movie, go to an exhibition, do some artwork, listen to a favorite piece of music you used to love, ask for help. Anything that makes you feel alive, full, joyful grateful. We can't do this alone.
Find time to give love to yourself, love your self, every day for 29 days, and there after. Being born is validation that you are enough.
I reminded her that 13 years ago this young woman came to San Francisco in her late twenties and opened a business which is now coming to its tenth year, a business that has a lot of competition in San Francisco, yet hers is still thriving. She also managed to buy herself an apartment in a beautiful part of the city. She is healthy, beautiful and loving, how much she has to give to another. She talked about wanting to fall in love, how alone she felt and how everything seemed to be working against her.
After a while of listening I asked her to stop and I said that I wasn’t hearing in her words that she was in love with herself, and that a teacher of mine told me when we are lonely it is because we are unable to truly be alone with ourselves. She said she had just been in two beautiful places and each time she returned home she felt depressed. I explained that the longing was a longing to find home inside. That right now she is being called to re look at her life. Home, is connected to the earth element, which is connected to finding home in ourselves our heart is connected to abundance which is connected to self worth, she had also just completed an earth ritual.
Whilst I listened I heard, not enough, what is wrong with me, where is my abundance, what do I still need to make me feel complete, I need another to make me happy. Low self worth, low self worth and low self worth. It was one of those conversations that does not let up and she was spinning. Sound familiar? Can I at least be thrown a bone, she said finally. Bones I reminded her help us to reremember why we are here, go to the marrow and get the nourishment you need. Chew it and play with it and see what happens.
I hear this a lot in my divinations, and today I ask that we give 29 gifts to ourselves. Complete any 29 day gift cycle you are in and then begin a 29 day gift cycle to yourself. Start each day with gratitude for what you do have, as gratitude keeps the heart open. Then every day speak a prayer into a bowl of water and take that water and pour it into a plant.
Then start the day with a gift to yourself, a lovely bath, a treat, a massage, time to yourself. A few pages of that book you have always wanted to have time to read. A call to a friend who genuinely listens. Go into nature, or the ocean, take a walk, a nap, spend a little extra on a lovely meal, buy that dress or shirt, watch a funny movie, go to an exhibition, do some artwork, listen to a favorite piece of music you used to love, ask for help. Anything that makes you feel alive, full, joyful grateful. We can't do this alone.
Find time to give love to yourself, love your self, every day for 29 days, and there after. Being born is validation that you are enough.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Elly Rose on -
I was going to report on the last day of my self care round and it ended up looking just like my blog tonight. It was a good round and I did learn. The rest of the story is here.
Mbali, Thank-you once again for sending me on this particular journey. I really needed it
Love and Light
Elly Rose
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on -
Elly Rose I just read your post , It is amazing to me how the same ritual turns out so different for everyone as we are all unique and interpret in so many different ways
This is a wonderful story thank you for listening to the messages you received, and mostly to your higher self
Love Mbali
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Permalink Reply by PeppermintPaty on -
Dear Mbali, thank you very much for sharing this story and for the beautiful gift of reminding us that we all ned to give to ourselves.
The gratitude exercise is something I will start doing tomorrow. It is beautiful.
A big hug to all from Mexico,
Paty
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Permalink Reply by IrishMommyX2 on -
Interesting to read this today. With the ever busy schedule and excuses, today I actually took 30 minutes to exercise. This may sound wierd to some but with my work schedule and a family at home, I often to do not take the time to recharge my batteries (and believe me exercising is one of my least favorite "think about activities." However, once I am done my workout I think to myself "You should do this more often!" It was a treat!
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Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on -
Not weird at all! I have no kids at home and I'm unemployed - you'd think I'd be a size '0' by now!
My gifts to myself this month include an hour a day for just reading the 29Gifts blogs and discussions, which I thoroughly enjoy and get so much out of - like a reminder to exercise! I will copy you and dedicate 30 minutes a day for yoga and walking. I walk my dog every day when it's not raining, but that's more for him. This extra time will be for me and only me. :-)
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Permalink Reply by IrishMommyX2 on
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You are so great! We will use each other as motivation!
I am also thinking of purchasing the book "29 Days" as a treat to myself. I try to read each night to calm my mind before I fall asleep. Have you read it?
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Permalink Reply by Mary Johnson on
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Yes - I pre-ordered my copy, read it, loved it, left reviews on amazon and several other sites whose names escape me right now...
It's a truly moving account of Cami's life after learning she had disabling Multiple Sclerosis and the incredible transformation her life and health took after following Mbali's prescription to give something away every day for 29 days. It's very well-written. I swear, I felt like I went through the entire ordeal and transformation with her!
I passed my copy on to my niece and I missed being able to refer back to it, so I've ordered several more for myself and for birthday and Christmas gifts.
PS - I love your profile photo! Did you take that?
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Permalink Reply by Layla on -
Thank you, thank you. After discovering this movement two weeks ago and joining it last week, I had been riding on a bit of a honeymoon period "giving high" until this weekend. And then today, when I allowed myself to slip into self-pitying and over-analytic behavior, these words hit home and reminded me of all the lessons I have learned and tools that I have. We need to give to ourselves. Especially when we feel as though we are not receiving enough emotional energy from the outside world. Powerful words and a wonderful message. My thanks Mbali and all, for helping to redirect my day...
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Permalink Reply by Lynda Whitfield on -
How true...we have to love ourself. However a great deal of the time we tend to suppress that need for self affirmation for whatever reason. I have just finished my 29 days...so I will take your advice and give myself 29 days of gifts. Even though the 29 days of giving to others has "officially" been completed, I find that giving is contagious...receiving has always been hard for me...so I'll try to be open to recieving and learning better to love myself. Thanks.
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Permalink Reply by mbali- 29Gifts Spiritual Advisor on
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Lynda
nice
Mbali
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Permalink Reply by Rhonda on -
WOW !! Mbali...I shivered as I was reading that. So powerful, so true. Self validation doesn't come easy for many,the reason so many are lonely, alone, and the need or want to do things we really don't want to do,just to get that validation from someone else...that "Well done",that "Good job", "that was a lovely dinner you made", etc. I find it hard to do that often, as I feel my patients need it more than I do, but I have been "burnt out" so often, I now know I need to take time for myself, to replenish the soil that grows my strength to continue my journey of giving every single day. It is not only for me, but those that I love, those that I meet, and those that I encounter throughout my life. I will say a prayer into a bowl of water and feed my plant. I am replenishing my body, aswell as my soul. Thank you so much Mbali, you're a precious gift,and I do hope you are in contact with Cami, helping her through yet another battle. Hugs, Rhonda xxxooo :)
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