A word about falling off the wagon...

I'm probably asking an aburd question, but ever had such ugly PMS that you felt like there was no choice but to zip yourself up in that proverbial straight-jacket until the hormones leveled out? I have friends that have horrible depression and other ugly PMS-related symptoms every month. Some are on medication to combat taking a ride on the Crazy Train every month. I have been so grateful to have escaped PMS all my life. Unfortunately, I'm afraid those days might be over. I got a headache Friday night that can only be described as being hit by that Crazy Train. I woke up Saturday morning with such lethargy I could hardly take the dog out to potty! And this lethargy only just left me a few short hours ago. This is the second month that these symptoms have put me out of commission for more than a day. They occur on the first day of my cycle (but the headache and slow shift in depressive mood was starting to show itself over the last few months) and vacate approximately three days later. I am making the connection that this is likely hormone related.

An unfortunate consequence of being in this depressed bubble for the last few days was that I did not think about anything or anyone. Obviously, that giving of any sorts did not happen either. It was all I could do to take care of my son, dog and cat! Thank God I don't have an infant and my son is 10 years old (and very caring and helpful).

I definitely felt the momentum I had built over my first gift giving week deflate as I indulged my meloncholy and circled the drain of inertia for the last few days. I was initially disappointed in myself, but I really tried not to indulge the disappointment for long. I just spent the last few days indulging hormones and was not about to waste another minute on feeling bad because I fell off the wagon. So, the only thing to do is to jump back on that gift wagon...start over.

And so I hop back on that wagon and begin again...Day 1.

Today I decided to give myself the first gift: I took care of myself. I consciously thought of ways that would recharge the energy lost over the last few days. Depression is an energy vampire. Ick! It's been raining ALOT yesterday and today (and more to come all week). But the clouds blew away long enough late this afternoon to allow for a crisp, beautiful afternoon. I love the way the air smells after a long rain. There was alot of wind with this one so branches are strewn all over the neighborhoods. I grabbed my iPod and my dog for a much needed walk. Not only did London get a nice walk in before we get flooded away by the next rain storm, but I was able to recharge and renew my spirit as I enjoyed the crisp air and inspirational Podcast downloaded to my iPod!