And so it Ends.

Yesterday I wrote...and wrote...and wrote about the internal struggle I have had over the last week with the challenge...After admitting my inability to get out of my own way and just embrace the chance to give and, yes, even receive, I sat back and read and reread and then read the post one more time. I came to realize that my thinking wasn't out of line. My feelings weren't wrong. My perception of what I thought the challenge meant and how I should go about it weren't off kilter.

I was playing by the rules. The rules were simple....just give. Give from a good place.

Trust me when I tell you that I don't "GIVE" to anyone or anything, unless I actually feel like it. So the gives I offered (that I was truly mindful of) were totally from the right place. Not ONE thing I did last month (with the exception of spending 1/2 a Saturday cleaning out my son's room) was something I felt I had to do because I hadn't "given" for the day. Absolutely there were a couple of gives that I did because of the Challenge...but that's just it: IT'S A CHALLENGE...a chance to stretch yourself. Taking dinner to my neighbor whose wife had a medical scare was a "challenge" for me. It seemed, in some way, to be "over the top!” I feared they would see through me and figure out I was only offering a meal because I had committed to doing 29 things in 29 days. But I brought them a meal because it was a nice thing to do. NOT because I needed to check off the day on the giving calendar. Sending a birthday card to a friend I normally wouldn't have sent one to was a challenge for me, because it was OUT OF THE NORM, not because I don't love her or want to recognize her birthday. I am a creature of habit, not necessarily resistant to change, but definitely wary of the reason behind the change. But the response I got from her, based on a simple gesture and no real effort on my part, was worth a hundred times more than the time it took to write a note, find her address, and walk the card to the mailbox.

I am a NICE person. NICE is a very vanilla word. "She looks NICE.", "We had a NICE time at the Foster's party.", " The weather is NICE." What does NICE mean and really do I want to be known as vanilla?

In a word: YES! I do. I want to be a nice person. I want to hold the door for someone. I want to say, "good job", or help someone with a project.

Because the world needs a few more NICE people. The World needs a few more people like my fellow challengers.

And THAT, my friends, is the point of Mbali and Cami's challenge: JUST BE NICE. Be nice to the people you know and especially to the ones you don't. Then if you are really paying attention, the world will smile at you, hold open the door for you, give you the opportunity to make more money, lift your spirits..whatever it might be that YOU NEED....

So today ends ROUND ONE of my 29 days. I'm in it for the long haul. I'm committed. I actually checked my commitment level yesterday after flexing my fingers and rereading my novel of a post...

I actually planned a couple of gives yesterday. Having not done any grocery shopping on Saturday, I made my list while drinking stone cold coffee (I just wrote the post, I didn't pause to sip the coffee)...and added TANGERINES to it. I put a bag of clothes and household goods in the Jeep, grabbed my reusable shopping bags, and headed to Winco...along with 8349 other shoppers...ummmm...did anyone realize that Thanksgiving is like 4 days away...yeah, well neither did I and who knew everyone and their cousin would be shopping on Sunday afternoon....But I just went with it. I got my veggies and bulk goods, lunch meat and requisite coffee beans, grabbed a 14 pound turkey (that would end up costing me a whopping 2.68 because of the spend $50 get a turkey for basically nothing special)...and THEN I SAW IT....the end cap cooler of EGG NOG...DEEeessssGGGUSTING! But Son #1 LOVES IT! 1/2 gallon in the cart and I continue on...Grabbed 2 boxes of cinnamon streusel coffee cake mix that will turn into my famous "MONEY MUFFINS" (so named because the first time I made them for my old assistant she took one bite and exclaimed, "These are MONEY!")...6 for Nick and I to share (or 1 for me and 5 for Nick) and 6 for #1 Son, Tyler and his delightful girlfriend to share. (Or 5 for Tyler and 1 for The Girlfriend)...Finished up my shopping and headed for the Good Neighbor House, where we like to donate....Gave the gal the bag of clothes, with the bag of tangerines on top!

Got home, started the muffins and then began making a pot of chili...why not make 2 pots, I thought. Send a pot home with Tyler when he comes for the muffins I had already sent him a message about (YES! I communicate with my kids via text message. At least we communicate!)...During all of this shopping/baking/bean cooking, The Girlfriend and I started texting...(hmmmm..thematic)...she asked me what type of wine my kids' "Other mom" drinks...well, as long as it has a cork and doesn't say Annie Green Springs I think we are good! We live in Oregon...some of the best wines in the country and a few may argue the world come from just down the street from where I live...told her I had just bought Tyler some eggnog (blechhhh) and she said that he had just been talking about it and that she had never had it. She had been having a tough day (Karma for smack talking the DUCKS!) and was so excited that I was sending home a treat with Tyler. Tyler dropped by after work and was so excited to get not only 6 muffins, but a crock pot of beans AND the egg nog. We had a great chat, as always, and he decided a good winter project would be to get the water dispenser in the fridge piped/tubed/or whatever it takes...Seriously, had the thing for 5 years and I never plumbed it...He is practicing his home owner skills on my appliances and for that I will continue to bake him muffins and crock some chili for payment!

One more quiet evening without the Boyfriend and I settled in with a stack of mags (so many amazing cookie recipes this time of year, so few days off).

AND it's Monday....And a Monday it was...And it was DAY 29!

I had blogged yesterday, one of my very last sentences, that I would make my give on Day 29 very meaningful and planned...yet the plan I had never happened. I had the blanket in the car, but....just but....Right before I shut down my computer an email flashed...Susan G. Komen foundation. "Only 10.42/month can save a life". There it was. My gift. The gift of a screening for one woman who does not have the insurance or financial means. The gift for a woman whose life might be saved by that screening.

Like I wrote earlier, I don't just GIVE to placate some guilt I have or because I need to check a box. I have to FEEL THAT GIVE...and I felt this one. I have been a supporter of the foundation in the past, taking part in several of the very popular walks, hosting a booth at the Health Fair, etc...I've known women who have lost their breasts and lost their lives because of this disease. I, fortunately, have healthy breasts. I also, very fortunately, have terrific health insurance and the ability to get my annual screening.

This was a no-brainer to me. I wanted to end my first round by doing something different than my usual gives. One of the messages in Cami's book that resonated with me was "scarcity". Very few of my gives these past 29 days have involved money. Now I realize that most things involve a certain amount of cash flow, but I have not written a check or made a monetary donation or what have you. Money certainly isn't growing on the now dying pepper plants in my garden. I don't have piles of it stashed in drawers. And at any given point we might be down to that last tank full of gas in our checking account, but that didn't matter. I wanted, no, I NEEDED TO DO THIS. And so I did. And for the next 12 months, at least, $10.42 will come out of my checking account and help someone's sister, mother, aunt, best friend, neighbor, cousin, wife, out there.

Yes. I'm committed. Yes. It's coming from the right place.

So back to the muffins....Nick had 1 yesterday, although I never actually saw him take it, there were 6 on the plate when I went upstairs and 5 on the plate when I came back down...I had one last night...This morning I contemplated taking one to work, but thought that I would have it tonight. I figured I would be left at least 1 by Nick so I didn't bother "hiding" one. Didn't think about THE DINGO! Came home and The Boyfriend, who returned after the weekend with The Brother said, "You can't leave food out....." MY MUFFINS!!!!!! I looked over and Kali, our Aussie (who had been on the trip with him), had the guilty look of a dog that jumped up on the counter and ate not ONE, not TWO, but the THREE remaining muffins (obviously NICK got another one)...She is SUCH A DINGO!

Seriously...they are MONEY! Oh well...

Round 2.

And so it begins..