Day 1 Again (again)

Okay, I fell off the bandwagon... like so many other areas of my life. But, my resultion now is to pas on the guilt and shame (thus sabotaging my self-sabotage) and keep getting back on the bandwagon. That is the only way I will get where I really want to go, anyway. I am actaully glad to start at Day 1 again. It's like the 12 days of Christams! Why not start the anticipation all over again?

Okay, so yesterday was Day 1:

What I gave: I let someone at a gas station use my phone. Their car broke down and they needed to call someone to come and help. Oh, man! I have been in that very same situation so many times! So soon we forget. I saw the young man coming toward me and though, "Oh shoot, here is someone asking for money. Why me? I hide the fact very easily (you wouldn't know to look at me), but I am struggling to make ends meet and here someone has to come and ask ME for money. Why ask a single mom? Why not one of these rich business men filling up their big mercedes all around me?" Just a little look into my EGO for all you who NEVER have thoughts liks these;)

I did open up and decide to help the young man with anything I had. He asked to use my phone, I gladly offered it to him. He did have a rather legnthy conversation (heated I might add), as I waited in my car until he was finished. I remembered so many times when I was in his shoes. I asked him if was okay and if someone was coming to help him. He said yes and went on his way. I realized, I had just given my first gift of the day.

Next, I was dealing with one of my contractors. She is terribly organized, never follows through, and is full or every excuse you can think of. AND she is going through a very hard time in her life. She is a contstant opportunity for me to get outside of myself. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Today, she did not surprise me by delegating some of her responsibilities to me. She was asking me to look through my countless emails for her accoutants contact info and work wtih him while she was out of town on a family emergency. Frusterated as she is only one of my many projects, I told her that I was much too busy and on deadline and that she could either forward the information to him herself or ask him to contact me. She snapped back something more than rude in one of those short and unsigned emails we are all too familiar with. I stopped right there and realized that I could give my second gift, a good one, because it required a lot from me. I surely didn't want to do it. I did take the time to look up the information finally (through trial and error), found the gentlemen who would take care of the business in her absence. I was glad because I did it when it was hard, my EGO was screaming big, and I knew that I would recieve no gratitude. I like using these opportunities to see who I REALLY am... or more acurately, who I CAN be;)

My third gift was to one of our interns yesterday. She was having one of those punk rock (yes she was orange hair, piercings, and looks like the bride of Maryline Manson) "I can't believe I'm folding brochures" kind of day. I actually heard that as she was folding (LOL). I had bought a chocolate truffle bar earlier as a little gift to myself because my day was crazy as well. Instead of finishing it, I gave her the other half and asked if this might help her day improve just a little. I shared that cholocate always did that somehow for me. She accepted! She smiled for the rest of her 30 minutes (3 hr work day!). Adorable:)

What I got: Encouragement from a friend (I was comlaining about how hard it is to be a single mom raising three young men!), aknowledgement from my Dean and Vice President, a feel good moment while I was listening to some good music:)