Day 13 :) & Day 14 : / Crash and burn

Day 13
Sleeping is not going as well as I had hoped. I did get a couple of great nights in there but then .... UGH! I found myself waking and rocking at the wee hours of the morning. Plus it was increasing my dizziness which is not good when one is only working with 25% of their balance system. So back to the doctor I went. Apparently getting sleep medication on through military healthcare is somewhat of a juggling act. My doctor had to get special permission to prescribe me Rozerem which has no contraindications with any of the other meds I am on. So today off the the pharmacy to get new script.

Movers coming in 5 days and I am working frantically to try to get my house ready. Not a fun chore but it needs to be done. Plus I am trying to pack myself for a year of traveling; but, I am not sure exactly what one does pack for an entire year?!?!?!

I learned that a friend was having some additional challenges. So I dropped everything and called her. We chatted and chatted for over 2 hours! I so miss her she's in Texas while I am in Washington. I would love to say that this was my give for the day; but, truth be told it was as much a give to myself as it was to her. This morning I have learned that her sister-in-law has had a stroke. So I will be sending extra prayers her way.

Day 14
Yesterday was day 14 and I didn't give anything. Which is okay....it just means I get to start all over at day 1; which doesn't break my heart; because, I love this program and I will see it through. However, yesterday I did completely fall apart. It hit me that I will be homeless (by choice but homeless none the less), my husband will be gone, I won't have my chronically ill therapy group, I will be far from my amazing doctors and most of my possessions will be out of my reach. I had hit melt down. My best girlfriend was at karate with her son; therefore, was out of my grasp (even though she lives two thousand miles away). Luckily, my friend in Ireland was online and we spent an hour chatting while I cried, that ugly, messy, sloppy cry. I came to realize through the chat that truthfully I was afraid. I was afraid because last time my hubby was away for the year I received my diagnosis of Arnold Chiari Malformation. I went alone the first time I visited the neurosurgeon. Now, I have just realized that I am terrified that something like that could happen again. My health is still quite the mess even after neurosurgery 4 years ago. So I am now in the process of dealing with that fear. I have decided to give myself time to face this fear and allow myself to not yet commit to the this challenge. I will continue to blog here daily. I need the strength and support of the great 29 Gifts members here. I am not alone and I will conquer this.