Day 16: Reversal of Energy

I feel like I gave a gift back to the world by going to the Watercolors class offered at my local campus nearby.

The decision of whether or not I should go back to school has been of some debate between me, my counselor, and doctor. I had to take medical leave last semester because of everything going on, and even just the thought of returning has brought on anxiety and stomach aches so strong that they have left me feeling paralyzed. But lately I've been improving, so my counselor suggested that I take on a couple classes (nothing heavy) just to get back into the feel of things and to have something to attend consistently and participate in. I saw some flyers in my local library about an advanced Watercolors class and thought I might just try.

It's hard to explain.. but I feel like it was the first time in a long while that I went out and gave energy back to the world. I did something that wasn't really for myself, but I tried to be a part of the world. I didn't need to, but I did. I made my boyfriend proud, my mom proud, my friends proud... The warm, beaming smile my boyfriend made when I came out all dressed for school and told him where I was going felt so good. He was really surprised. (:

I felt a little rusty interacting with society again, but I guess that'll take some time.

I was helpful to my teacher, who is really nice. I shared my supplies with another student as examples for what the teacher was looking for. I even shared some tips and advice. I feel that my teacher is very open, receptive, and encouraging to my participating. I am looking forward to talking to and knowing her this semester. I really am. She seems like a beautiful soul.

I hope I can be more friendly to my classmates as well. It would be great to make some new friends and feel like I belong. That would be very nice. I am ready to start new.

Art therapy works wonders as well. Allowing myself to freely be on the paper and just let go. Wonders.