Day 18 and Day 19... the Ecard and gifts to the homeless

Day 18, Friday... I struggled for most of the day on this one and in the end I sent an ecard to Mary in Michigan which was suggested by one of the givers re European bookcrossing, something like that! Anyway, I am sure Mary will receive her ecards soon and I am really happy to have participated in such a nice gift.

Day 19, Saturday... today I managed to do a few gives... I had the opportunity to offer help to my neighbor by carrying some of her post down the elevator. Then there was a guy standing outside the Prudential shopping center with a sign saying him and his son were homeless this Christmas. I must admit I get dubious from time to time about such adverts of homelessness, but the guy seemed genuinely desperate enough to stand outside a busy shopping centre (he didn't look ragged and dirty etc), so I gave him $10 and said 'Have a Merry Christmas" with a warm smile. I also registered for a yoga class today that was in aid of the Pine Street homeless shelter in Boston. All proceeds were going direct to the shelter. I registered and paid my $15 by phone, but failed to attend in the end out of my own resistance for whatever reason! I always love yoga when I'm there but felt compelled to head to the shopping centre in the end... doh!

I am going through a lot of resistance lately... can see where I want to change areas of my life and what I need to do, just being lazy perhaps and not motivated enough to do it, not wanting to go through the pain of it either... feels like a lack of sunshine and smiles inside my heart if you know what I mean. Maybe it's this time of the year since I'm here in Boston 'alone' in a sense without my family and friends for Christmas who are in Australia and the UK. Luckily my boss has offered to have me for Xmas day otherwise I would be spending it alone. I know this all sounds like violins playing and looking for sympathy... I'm not believe me, just need to let it out... it's affected me more than I realise actually. It's okay, I can easily pull myself together after a cry or two... just need to realise there are people out there in worse situations that's for sure. Just need to remember what I do have, not what I lack! Be in gratitude instead. That's all for now. Goodnight.