Day 2 - Giving within Grief
I'm back, largely because I'm not sure what else to do. After my blog post yesterday about moving, marriage, and motherhood, I woke up this morning to hear my Dad tell me that my grandmother passed away around 6 am. It wasn't unexpected. She was 98 and in an Alzheimer's unit. I believe that today is a happy day for her - she has found peace again. So my grief is largely selfish, as I do and will miss her terribly. Although I knew rationally it couldn't happen, some small part of me always held out hope that we could be old ladies together so that I could finally understand all of the changes in her life and her reactions to them. I pictured being able to look her in the eye, grab her hands, and say truthfully, "I get it now."
As for giving, I'm not sure where to begin other than do whatever comes naturally today. I am giving her a lot of love, thinking about her journey and helping her to celebrate that. She lived a long, adventurous life, and will be missed.
As for giving, I'm not sure where to begin other than do whatever comes naturally today. I am giving her a lot of love, thinking about her journey and helping her to celebrate that. She lived a long, adventurous life, and will be missed.
Comment
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Comment by JB29-Gifts on December 2, 2009 at 7:42pm -
Remember that you gave so much to her throughout your life. I am sure you have no idea just how much joy you gave her all these years. You are also continuing to give to her every day by living your own brave adventure. Just because you cannot hold her hand and say, "I get it now" does not mean that she won't know it. She has been with you for this whole life so far and that is not going to change. Much Love. JB
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Comment by Simone on December 2, 2009 at 2:21pm -
It is so difficult to loose a loved one. I hope that you will eventually find yourself peaceful and at ease. You are a continuation of your grandmother. She is still with you.
We look toward each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.
John O'Donohue
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Comment by Cathleen on December 2, 2009 at 1:38pm -
I'm sorry for you loss.
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Comment by yonkersbaby on December 2, 2009 at 1:06pm -
Grief & loss, though a part of life, are so hard. The precious thing is, you already have belief that this is a happy day for her & acknowledged that she has found peace. Give yourself the gift of accepting the outpourings of sympathy, love & support, & make sure to eat well & rest well. Prayers & love to U & yours.
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Comment by Paula Swenson on December 2, 2009 at 12:47pm
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Saying goodbye is so difficult, sharing your memories of your adventurous grandmother will be a gift to all who knew her, to yourself and to her as well. I wish you peace.
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Comment by Harriet on December 2, 2009 at 12:29pm -
it is so hard to lose a loved one. i wish you many happy memories of your grandmother in the front of your mind~ blessings and love
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