Today my gift was again time and giving my entire focus to the person/people that I was with. I am somewhat of a recovering workaholic! I love my work so it is easy for me to be doing it 24/7. I was relishing and opportunity to do ki readings. These are documents that I prepare for clients that detail where their ki energies are for the coming month, what themes they will be working, how to stay in balance and suggestions for aligning with the energy to make the most of the month.
I knew that my husband would be going for a long drive to check on our cattle and I knew that he would take the kids along so that meant that I had two hours of uninterrupted time..................and while I was relishing this time for myself, I became distinctly aware of a heavy tug at my heart. As much as I tried to be on the computer, doing my work I was being hounded by an adorable little girl who just wanted mommy to play! So I did. This was my first gift given. I really did play too, I was the voice for Shamoo, the dolphin and the Manatee!
I was also feeling that it would be a wonderful gift if I were to go with my husband to feed cattle. This isn't the most romantic scene I could picture but it would all of us, as a family in one location and so this was my second gift. In stead of staying home working and "getting things done" I gifted my time and presence with my family. No computer, no housework, just me, fully present, listening to their stories, their giggles, their fighting in the back seat.
And while I was greatly enjoying this time, I was also aware of the heaviness that was still present within my being. A longing was arising but I didn't know what it was realted to........my mind flashed images of the past couple of days and the various scenese and emotions that came up, highs and lows. I was aware of the one thing that I most felt I was missing and that is the connectedness. Since I work independently, I no longer have a social group that I am connected with, save the four dogs, my children, and husband. I have dear friends though I felt a deep sadness and disconnetion within. I began to cry, grateful that is was dark and that no one could see me. I didn't want to answer any questions! I work with a technique called The Journey, so I began doing my own process, right there in the pick-up. I was aware of this heaviness and yet I wasn't all that sad. I felt overwhlem. And when I tuned in even more closely I was flooded with inexplicapable waves of LOVE. I don't know how to put into words what all was going on within. I had never felt this type of overload and overwhelm to the point of sobbing. I realized at this moment that it is love that we most seek, love that we most desire and love that we most need. I had a flash of something that occurred last night that deeply hurt my feelings and in this moment there was only love for this person! I couldn't make myself not love her. I felt that heaviness in my hurt burst wide open, and the words.............LOVE IS THE GREATEST CURRENCY came through my thoughts. I have spent a lot of time, working, trying to earn and income and "make money" in the past. I realzied that I no longer necessary. The most valuable currency on the planet has nothing to do with paper or coins. It has everything to do with the currencey we all have access to within, LOVE. And I believe that those who are on this website and involved in the giving challenge already are millionaires.