Day 6/7...Lessons learned
Good Evening, Friends :-)
Day 6
Yesterday, I had one of those days when you just feel "off" the whole day after something transpires that you didn't expect. I hadn't heard from a friend for a couple days, and she is older with health problems, so I was concerned. I had a nagging feeling though, that I had either said or done something to offend her during our last conversation. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was just a gut feeling. As it turns out, I was correct. She took something I said as a slight, and was hurt by it, even though I honestly had not intended to be hurtful to her or not considerate of her feelings. We discussed it, I apologized, and she said that she wanted to move past it, but I am not sure if she can. She has had a lot of people in her life take advantage of her, so she tends to expect it... almost look for it, in others. She also leans toward the role of the "victim" and therefore has a difficult time putting it in perspective. Needless to say, it left me feeling unsettled the rest of the day...here I was making a concerted effort of being mindful of others and giving of myself, trying to be compassionate, etc. and I hurt someone...ugh, that did not feel good. The lesson here to me is that we cannot control other people's behavior, just our reaction to it...I said a prayer for her and for myself....and forgave both of us for our humanness :-)
Day 7
Today I wasn't feeling so well today. The damp, cold, rainy weather kicks in my lupus symptoms and I felt exhausted, but I had planned to make brownies for my daughter (she had been really bugging me for them the past couple days) and I was able to get it together enough to make them. It made me feel really good that I made the effort, because they turned out great and my daughter was happy. I also had the added pleasure of finding a new friend online who I really click with and I am looking forward to getting to know better. Sometimes it's the little things that really make you think...and learn about yourself the most ♥
Day 6
Yesterday, I had one of those days when you just feel "off" the whole day after something transpires that you didn't expect. I hadn't heard from a friend for a couple days, and she is older with health problems, so I was concerned. I had a nagging feeling though, that I had either said or done something to offend her during our last conversation. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was just a gut feeling. As it turns out, I was correct. She took something I said as a slight, and was hurt by it, even though I honestly had not intended to be hurtful to her or not considerate of her feelings. We discussed it, I apologized, and she said that she wanted to move past it, but I am not sure if she can. She has had a lot of people in her life take advantage of her, so she tends to expect it... almost look for it, in others. She also leans toward the role of the "victim" and therefore has a difficult time putting it in perspective. Needless to say, it left me feeling unsettled the rest of the day...here I was making a concerted effort of being mindful of others and giving of myself, trying to be compassionate, etc. and I hurt someone...ugh, that did not feel good. The lesson here to me is that we cannot control other people's behavior, just our reaction to it...I said a prayer for her and for myself....and forgave both of us for our humanness :-)
Day 7
Today I wasn't feeling so well today. The damp, cold, rainy weather kicks in my lupus symptoms and I felt exhausted, but I had planned to make brownies for my daughter (she had been really bugging me for them the past couple days) and I was able to get it together enough to make them. It made me feel really good that I made the effort, because they turned out great and my daughter was happy. I also had the added pleasure of finding a new friend online who I really click with and I am looking forward to getting to know better. Sometimes it's the little things that really make you think...and learn about yourself the most ♥
Comment
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Comment by Heather DeAngelis on November 14, 2009 at 2:20pm -
Harriet..thank you for your prayers! I actually think there is a lesson here for me..I need to deal with this disease instead of being in denial about it and learn to ask for help when I need it..tough lessons for a stubborn nurse to admit, but very necessary. I am almost finished reading Cami's book and what a wake up call! I am so grateful that she decided to write it..I needed to read it and "hear" the message :-)
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Comment by Harriet on November 14, 2009 at 4:29am -
praying that the cold weather goes away and you feel better...
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Comment by Heather DeAngelis on November 13, 2009 at 7:04am
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@ Dawn...thanks for your comment and for the hug..I appreciate it! @ Kate..thank you for your words of encouragement..I actually am feeling better today :-) @ Jane..hey that would be great..nice to have someone in the community close by! ♥
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Comment by Jane on November 12, 2009 at 6:28pm -
I work in center city...we should have coffee.
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Comment by Dawn wwt on November 12, 2009 at 5:35pm -
i hate it when i accidentally upset someone. as you said, sometimes it has more to do with the other person's mindset than anything we actually say or do. it seems like some people WANT to think the worst in a given situation. you did what you could, try to let it go now. Brownies...mmm! great give to your daughter. i hope you feel better soon. Hugs, Dawn
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Comment by Kate on November 12, 2009 at 5:13pm -
I can totally relate with these feelings. I think that you did the best thing to let go of the sentiment. Stay rested, and give that gift to yourself when you need it! Good luck and have fun!
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