Days 16-29 3/24-4/7 I'm done! Reflection at end

Been horrible at keeping up with posting. Very bad 2 weeks after treatment for heel pain on the 24th. Could barely function most days, but tried to keep up and finished the 29 days of giving!

Day 16

Bought lunch for my Aunt Louise today as a thank you for taking me to the doctor. I got a treatment done on my heel for planter facitus(sp) and have been in MORE pain ever since. Had a very rough time and been out of it on pain meds since that day.

Day 17

Gave the gift of patience today to a friend online who got very rude with me.

Day 18

Gave the gift of time to myself to heal and get better. Bad heel and ankle pain nearly driving me out of my mind.

Day 19

Gave the gift of time today by reconnecting with a friend. We were very close for several months after we met, then I found out she had lied to me about some very important topics. I was very hurt and angry and stopped speaking to her. I later realized she is extremely insecure and lies to make herself feel more happy. I called her out on the lies awhile ago and today I finally took her call after avoiding her for weeks. I'll try to salvege the friendship.

Day 20

Gave the gift of acceptance to the friend from yesterday. She called again and I let her talk as long as she liked. I think we may be able to be friends again with some work.

Day 21

Gave the gift of kindness. I had a customer in my store cancel a large order she claimed she placed by "accident." Even though that is impossible as she would have had to complete several steps to agree to the order. Instead of being impatient and castizing her, I walked her through the steps on how to reorder and pointed out some other items she may like.

Day 22

Gave the gift of patience to my elderly mother who still insists that her son is perfect. She has always favored him and continually lists my faults to anyone who will listen. For once, I let her speak with out fighting as I realize she will never accept that she has TWO good kids.

Day 23

Gave the gift of thanks today for a wonderful gift I received in the mail. Normally I have a hard time accepting things and always feel I'm not worthy of anything good. I let the gifter know, I was very happy and excited to receive it and publically as well as privately thanked her for her thoughtfulness.

Day 24

Gave the gift of kindness today to the paralegal at my lawyer's firm for ignoring my emails. Did not yell when she waited over a week to answer a question (their policy is 24 hours).

Day 25

Gave the gift of forgiveness to my cousin who keeps asking me to do things, then canceling. I find this behavior very rude and hurtful and normally I hold a grudge, but today I just let it go. One day she will realize it's not an attractive quality.

Day 26

Gave the gift of time to my folks today. Spent the day with them (prodical brother belw off the holiday to spend it with his in-laws) and let them know that I would be there to support them in the future as it is likely no one else will.

Day 27

Today while shopping I let several people in front of me in line and did not yell at a woman who blatently cut in front of me. Usually this rude behavior pisses me off, but with my painful foot, I could barely walk by that point and could not handle using any energy to fight.

Day 28

Gave the gift of patience to a customer in my store that did not pay for her order. Later she told me she only has a credit card we (clearly) don't take. I didn't yell, just explained the policies.

Day 29

Today I gave the gift of patience to my brother who has been playing mnetal games over my niece's birthday party--not inviting me, then uninviting our side of the family, then demanding I come, then telling me not to bother. I haven't made a decision to attend of not, but either way, I will let my niece know how special she is.

Also gave patience to my landlord who is dragging his heels (for a year) on fixing a drainage issue.

REFLECTION:

At the beginning of this journey, I felt really energized and excited to attempt this. At the end, I'm drained and tired. I give things everyday--lots more than mentioned here. I even belong to multiple groups where I give away items regularly. The idea of actually thinking about giving in order to have positive thoughts go out in the universe was difficult since I already do these actions (most of them) automatically without thought. I wanted to do this because I loved the idea of being a more positive, giving person. I'm not sure I acheived that with one cycle. I'm going to take a little time, regroup, and start this over with some more energy. I don't want it to be something I feel obligated to do and I'm afraid that's what it would be if I started again.

I didn't keep track of what I "got" in return for giving because that wasn't my purpose in doing this. I like the feeling that giving gives me and to me, that is reward in itself--don't need an material retribution. I just wish I had more to give and more energy to give with.