January 16, 2013
I had my PET scan, my blood tests and the last of my chemo treatments. On December 20th I saw my doctor. I was his last patient of the day and as an oncologist he had to deliver sad news all day. He told me that I was his gift for the day for my news was GREAT. I am cancer free.
That doesn’t mean the journey is over for I will be watched and tested for many years. But it does mean that I get to have a reversal on my colostomy. I was hoping that surgery would be this month but my doctor wants be to recuperate for three months and then be tested again as a precaution and then in late March or early April I will have surgery. I have to say that I pouted for a second, then remembered that he is the expert and told him cheerfully that I would always follow his direction. I have seen the wisdom in his decision daily. I was weaker than I thought and each day I gain endurance.
He did confide in me that he was amazed that in one short session of treatments that I went from Stage 4 colon cancer to Cancer free. He told me he noted in my record that he was unsure that I would ever get a reversal. He was thrilled to be wrong.
I still have a few side effects from the chemo. But they are diminishing daily. I am walking again when the weather permits and have taken a few short hikes. I can read a little more each day. I want to thank everyone for keeping in their prayers and sending energy and positive thoughts. I still feel wrapped in angel wings.
I keep Kathy as often as possible. I was helping her write a letter the other day and she hesitated a second so I told her that was the letter H. She looked up from her work, rolled her eyes and with a loud sigh said, I am not in preschool anymore. I am in Kindergarten. Oh my, teenage years are fast approaching for her parents.
My biggest gift this month was to help train my daughter to Master in Reiki 2 weeks ago. It was a wonderful few days with lots of love and light.
I have managed to write letters, much shorter than usual, but my grandson still appreciates them.
I have spent much time on the phone counseling with my son the Fed Ex driver. His baby, Aidan is 16 months old. He never really walked, just took off running. My son is worried about potty training. So I shared some methods and told him that it really is pretty easy. He decided to wait until I am there next month. Both he and his girlfriend were intimidated by the whole process.
Paul and I went to St. Louis this weekend to be with Trina. She is making a big change and wanted us to be there for the first step. We had a wonderful weekend. We topped off the weekend by driving the very long way home so that we could be at my Great Granddaughter’s 3rd birthday. It always amazes me that something that I plan as a gift ends up with me receiving the most. I spent quality time with my daughter, three grandsons, one granddaughter and my great granddaughter.
Today I am beginning an official round. I have no idea what number of round this is for I have done many rounds here. I always learn wonderful lessons each round and I am now at the point where I feel I can commit to a new round.
My gift today was to a very good friend. He is my Knight in Shining Armor. In high school, where I was shy and retiring, he would always leave the popular group and come over to me and talk. He helped me get through those rough years. Now I loved him then, but I never told him. We have reconnected this past year. Paul and my friend connected quickly. They are brothers at heart. We talk almost daily, but I rarely call him. Today I called just to tell him he was important to us, that he was loved and then I would let him get back to work. He told me that the call raised his spirits and he would face the day much happier.
The Universe reminds me "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson (A Return To Love)