Giving Myself Time to Relax
I have been struggling with anxiety lately ... I guess because there is a lot going on in my life, upcoming changes, and uncertainties. I have been overwhelmed with all there is to do; I feel like I get done with one thing on my list and ten new ones are added. It's never ending. I have serious problems relaxing. I am always doing, doing, doing; if I'm not doing then I am thinking about what I should be doing, feeling guilty for not working on something.
I have come to realize that I need to learn how to relax. Perhaps it comes naturally to some people; maybe one day it will be natural for me. I thought it would help me to try and make time to relax each day. I am trying to recognize this time as a priority, telling myself I do not have to wait until all the work is done to have some relaxation (all the work will never be done and relaxing is important).
Tonight after work I gave myself time to relax. I listened to a little music, took a short bath, put on my soft warm pajamas, ate a bowl of the homemade ice cream my fiance made for me this weekend, and read the first chapter of a book I got as a Christmas gift. Now I am giving myself time to write this and watching a little TV. I did this all BEFORE any chores, even though I was thinking I should mop the floor, do some paperwork, etc. It was nice, but a little hard for me to not feel guilty for taking this time. I start to think I should be doing something more productive, but I am telling myself that these things are indeed productive; this benefits me and everyone around me. The other things/work can wait until later. Chances are I will probably get some things done while I have the TV on, but if I don't I am not going to beat myself up for it. I don't have time for this every day. Many nights I have a meeting, an appointment, or am teaching religion class. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this time while I can .... that's what I keep telling myself ....
I want to learn there is nothing wrong with taking a break. I want to learn it is okay to go away for a weekend and not do work. There will always be more work to do, but the work can always wait.
I want to learn not to expect so much from myself, not to be so hard on myself. I want to learn to give myself the care and respect I give others in my life. Why should I think badly about myself for things I would never think badly of others for? I want to give myself credit for all the things I do, both big and small. I want to be able to take things one step at a time. I want to learn to stop worrying so much about the future and to live in the present.
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Comment by genuine, wwt, welcomer on January 22, 2013 at 4:12am -
thanks to everyone for the supportive encouraging comments
sounds like others have some of the same struggles I do; at least I'm not alone.
maybe it's something to do with today's society/culture (busy, busy, go, go, go)
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Comment by Sparkles on January 21, 2013 at 11:49pm -
The first step is to recognize and accept what you observe before you can address it and looks like you have done that. a few years back I was looked upon as the work horse and I was working non-stop BUT at the risk of my health, missing family events, etc. Then one day I ended up in the hospital with pain and it turned out to be my gall bladder- I know its not a serious disease and quite common, but the when I was told I was going into surgey. I realized there was a chance I could not awaken. In that few moments before surgery, I did some soul searching and realized I (me) was the most important thing in the world and the ONLY people who would suffer if I wast here was my husband and children and loved ones. I decided (and have not gone back on my word) and follow it till today - that I will put my health first, make sure my family time is precious and my to do list can just wait. I can be a little OCD, but we started paying a guy to clean our yard and everyone splits my chores indoors so I dont have to do it all. Do you know that some women feel like running everything is helping the family? Well, it turns out its the opposite - taking care of us is the single most important thing we can do for the ffamily. We cannot give to others if we dont have anything to give- so give to you first. God Bless
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Comment by HollyLovely on January 21, 2013 at 11:25pm -
I struggle with this too, but you are doing a great job of recognizing that relaxation must be a priority. There are many truths in your post, and it was humbling to read. Giving myself a manicure/pedicure or taking a warm luxurious bath or shower helps me relax. (: Living in the present is key, you are right. And yes, there will always be a to-do list, but the to-do list won't matter if your wellbeing isn't being maintained simultaneously. Take it easy. You are doing a great job. (:
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Comment by Laura M on January 21, 2013 at 8:48pm
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You are right--the work is always there & always *will* be there... so how do we want to live along the way? Big question for me too. Also liked your comment about "why think badly of myself for things I would never think badly of others for?" (What *would* you say to someone else who took 1 night off from a busy schedule? Probably only supportive things & you are no less worthy. Hope you did enjoy the evening... there is nothing to prove.
Thanks for all you do for others on this site,
L
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Comment by Mary Johnson on January 21, 2013 at 7:11pm -
We are all so on the same page. I could have written your post verbatim, G. Thank you for the gentle reminder to be kind to ourselves and enjoy the moments guilt-free. A hot soak in the tub sounds very inviting. If not tonight, there's definitely one in my future this week. That would be a good theme to track - "What did you do for yourself today?"
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Comment by Lois55 wwt on January 21, 2013 at 7:04pm -
This was such a great post....you let us come into your life tonight, and I really appreciate it. You took some precious baby steps with your bath, warm jammies and yummy homemade(!) ice cream. It's time to take some time for you, you are one of the busiest ladies i "know"! Take care, I wish you all the best as you continue to take some time for you. Hugs to you..
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Comment by Dawn wwt on January 21, 2013 at 6:43pm -
well done, Genuine! i, too, understand where you are coming from...i have a very hard time relaxing myself. it helps me to remind myself that relaxing gives me a chance to recharge, and that is not only a gift to myself but to everyone around me as well. keep practicing...it will get easier :o) Hugs, Dawn XOXO
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Comment by Deb~ Community Manager on January 21, 2013 at 6:23pm -
Congratulations, Genuine. You have really done a fabulous thing here. I, like you can never relax, ever. So for you to do this, I know how hard it can be and I am proud of you.. xoxo Do me a favor and do it more often!
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