honoring my feelings, honestly
I had to make a decision this week to meet with Tolga, alone, and talk to or not to. I had been feeling uncomfortable with that idea and finally stepped up and honored my feelings;therby, giving myself permission take a step back.
I had been feeling bullied when he would talk about all this divorce stuff and I finally was able to put myself first and tell him. I told him that I would not talk with him if he was going to be a bully and talk AT me and not with me. It was time to get someone, a mediator, to help us communicate, calmly.
Sometimes, taking that first step is the hardest but is rewarded. He calmly agreed and it lifted so much pressure from my shoulders.
Even through it all, I have been trying to organize an outing for Tolga and Mina, OUTSIDE of the house. It is turning into a Father/daughter day with Mina's friend ALlegra and her father. The idea is for me to bring Mina to the children's museum to meet tolga. She is not comfortable being outside of the house, alone, with tolga. So, we thought that if we had her best friend there, it might be easier for her.
Just trying to add a little calm to her life as her parents begin their own divorce process....
Comment
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Comment by Toni on March 29, 2011 at 9:08am -
It's nice to hear an update from you! I think about you all the time as I find my house in Sugarhouse at least once a week lately. It's nice to hear there is so much wonderful progress being made. Not just with Tolga, but for you personally....and all because of the peace you've allowed to consume your life! What a testament!! When I grow up, can I be like you?? ((HUGS))
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Comment by Leaf on March 19, 2011 at 7:00pm -
Father daughter day was a success! Allegro and her father, Alex came to help. Alex helped tolga thru his first meltdown with Mina and they all survived. I got about 3 hrs to myself to do some window shopping before settling in with a good book and coffee at barnes and noble. Toga was actually pleasant as we walked back to the parking lot. Progress? I am hoping!
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Comment by Michele wwt on March 19, 2011 at 1:36pm -
Peace and blessings be with you.
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Comment by Elly Rose on March 19, 2011 at 10:55am -
You have been able to find dignity in this divorce, making your needs known and standing your ground. Finding a comfortable way for father and daughter to have time together was indeed a great give for Mina.
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Comment by Ann on March 19, 2011 at 10:41am -
Speaking up for yourself and your daughter took a great deal of courage and was a wonderful gift for both of you!
You are such a caring person and I wish you and Nina the very best!
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Comment by Deb~ Community Manager on March 19, 2011 at 7:08am -
I am so proud of you Leaf~ You have really grown in this past year~ xoxo
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