More questions than answers to begin with

Comment

Comment by Martina on December 17, 2009 at 8:59am

Thanks for all these insightful comments! It's true that every gift impacts the receiver in some way, and it seems like the idea is to become more mindful of both giving and receiving and, essentially, connecting. I noticed that, for me, a truly heartfelt gift feels very fulfilling, and gives back much more than a healf-hearted gift. So, maybe that's a way to give back to yourself--you know, by really giving from the heart--and to avoid becoming depleted.
Barbara, yes, that good feeling that giving evokes can easily turn giving into a selfish act, no? You're very right about figuring out why you give. Strangely, I've never given that much thought.
Pauline, I am curious what this self-care round is all about...

Comment by Ruth on December 16, 2009 at 2:48pm

Martina, you've raised the whats, whens, whys and so on that we all face. I think Barbara puts it very well. I enjoy the giving but I think the receiving and awareness of what I am given helps me feel good about life. Someone somewhere cares......

Comment by Pauline Nolan on December 16, 2009 at 2:32pm

Thanks for posting these questions. I have been thinking of the idea of selfless giving - maybe it doesn't have to be that way always. Even if you give with the intention of also getting something out of it too then that would be OK - as long as you don't expect obligation or gratitude or adoration from the receiver They should be free to react whatever way is authentic for them. Giving sounds simple but it seems to profoundly confront us in various ways, which is interesting. I am on a self care round and finding it much more challenging than my first giving round.

Comment by Barbara Quin - Prayer Cafe Mgr on December 16, 2009 at 1:24pm

Thank you, Martina! Good, thought-provoking questions - perfect for this site. So many people are making a connection within themselves about the idea of giving, it's amazing. I think it's all wrapped up in the feeling/emotion/intention behind the act. Even people who drop coins into the Salvation Army red kettle "just because it's there" or because they feel "guilty" if they don't - the people served by the Salvation Army will receive the benefit of it. So I think there is always a benefit to giving - my goal is to become more mindful of it - more consciously aware of opportunities to give and to identify when I feel I don't have anything to give. Not giving from a sense of poverty or lack is more dangerous to the giver than the receiver, if you base that on "intention." It's also about - as your questions suggest - getting clear on why you give. Giving is a good feeling (unless it's from guilt) - that could be called a selfish reason to give. Every act of giving is from a place that connects with the receiver - unknown on the conscious level perhaps - so giving is about connecting - in great and small ways. Sure it would be good to donate a million dollars to your favorite charity, but is that donation (if the person is able and willing to give it) any less significant than the last two pennies of the widow at the well? Look at the intention, the feeling.

Thank you for your goodness!
blessings -b

Comment by Deb~ Community Manager on December 16, 2009 at 12:49pm

You are so right Martina!