My Trip Blog The Final Installment

November 5, 2011
Day 14

Bev knocked at my door at 4:15 this morning. I had a feeling of foreboding. Bev had just received word that Dela was in the hospital. Bev was going to get dressed and then get Jesse ready and they were going to go see her.

I laid in bed thinking I needed to get up and moving. Today I am moving back to Ted’s place. Ted and Leslie and Aidan are coming home today. Bev was going to drive me over this afternoon. I decided that it was too early to get up and I was going to go back to sleep.

At 4:30, just 15 short minutes later everything changed. Bev knocked on my door. She was almost ready to leave, but now plans were changing. Dela had died. As I write this I still don’t want to believe that this lovely 31 year old is gone for this earth. Dela had hurt her knee a few weeks ago. The doctor had immobilized it. A blood clot formed, broke loose and lodged in her lungs and we lost Dela.

I jumped out of bed and hugged my sister. She had been close to Dela for 15 years. It was like she had lost her niece. I went to Jesse and expressed my condolences. Jesse has lost so many of his family and friends this year that I was a little worried about his state of mind. He had lost his grandmother, an uncle, his best friend, and one friend he considered a brother all in just a few months.

Jesse called Dela’s mom and waited for that family to arrive so that they could all go to the hospital at the same time. Dela’s mom had not spoken to her daughter for 4 years. She had not even met the new baby. I knew that it was going to be a rough week for the family. I also knew that family from out of town would start arriving soon and that it was a good thing that it was time to return to Ted’s. Bev gave me the keys to her car. I could use it today and she would figure out how to get it back later.

After they left I got dress, packed my bags and put them in the car. I stripped the bed and washed the sheets. I did dishes, straighten up the kitchen, vacuumed. I was just getting ready to take the sheets out of the dryer when Jesse and Bev returned.

While I was staying at Jesse’s house he was one of the few people that understood about my portion sizes. He is on a doctor’s plan through his insurance. He has to buy the food that they have prepackaged. He doesn’t use that food any more; he met his goal of losing 110 pounds. So the package dinners were piling up. When I first arrived he took me to the cupboard that this food was stored in and told me to eat this whenever. I did eat it. It is tasty and easy. I was able to continue to watch my portion size while I was staying there. Jesse was concerned about me eating right when I left. He sent a box of his dinners to Ted’s with me.

Bev had planned on taking me to a bazar today. I tried to let her know that it was ok, we could miss the bazar. But it felt like Bev was driven to do something normal. She would then drive me to Ted’s so that her car would be home. We drove to the bazar but our hearts were not there. Bev received a phone call from her son. He apologized for missing Halloween and wanted to have lunch with her today. We left for the restaurant. I took the car then. Bev’s son would drive her home. I was glad that Bev had some time with her granddaughters. She needed that connection right now.

I went to Ted’s and unloaded all my things. Chester the cat was back finally. I fed him and gave him some attention. Then I sent a text to Ted telling him Oscar was back. What can I say; it was an old fashion name. My son knew who I meant and he sent a text back saying oh cool.

I went to the hospital to see the baby and everyone else. My granddaughter Taylor was there for the day to spend quality time with her little brother. As Ted and Leslie waited for release from the hospital they asked me to go and feed Taylor.

I took this opportunity to go to one of my favorite places in Vancouver to eat, Boppin’ Bo’s. It is a burger joint set in the 50’s. I talked to the manager. His father is Bo. Paul and I were one of their first customers when they started ten years ago. I didn’t think he would recognize me, but he did. Taylor enjoyed her meal. She asked for a sundae. I happen to know that their sundaes are very big, but I told Taylor to go ahead and order her hot fudge sundae.

When we got our check I realized that the sundae wasn’t on the ticket. I told the manager when I was paying and he told me that he had already taken care of the sundae. Wow.

I took Taylor to Ted’s place and we waited for a few minutes before the big homecoming happened. Leslie and Ted needed to go to fill her prescriptions. They asked if I would take care of Aidan while they did this. I would have been glad to take care of my grandson, but his sister had it all under control. She did a great job watching her brother. She was very excited to be able to care for him.

During the day while I was relating to Ted and Leslie the story of Dela it hit them that just a week ago the doctor had been concerned about a blood clot in Taylor’s knee. They are feeling very blessed today, their little boy and Taylor and Kaylie are well and happy.

Later in the evening, even though Taylor hinted that she would like to stay where she was she was picked up by her mom.

Leslie is moving slowly and is in considerable pain. I gave her Reiki to help her relax and sleep.

November 6, 2011
Day 15

I made arrangements to return Bev’s car to her. Bev was more centered today after spending time with her granddaughters. Family had indeed come in yesterday and my bed had been needed. There was going to be a family meeting today to discuss all of the arrangements for Dela’s funeral. I helped clean up from breakfast.

I was telling Jesse about Leslie’s feet. He was wondering how she elevated them. Leslie had rolled a blanket and put it under her feet leaving the rest of her legs unsupported. Jesse offered to lend me the foam wedges for her until I go home. I took the wedges home for Leslie. Bev took me to Ted’s. She had a quick visit with Aidan and the left for home.

Ted and Leslie wanted to go to the store. They had planned on taking Aidan but Ted was very glad I was there. I watched Aidan while they shopped. When they returned home friends and family started drifting in to meet Aidan or hug him one more time. I tried to stay in the background, I would have Aidan all night.

Leslie’s dad is an older guy with a full head of white hair. He is very passionate about his football. So while everyone else was oooing and awing over Aidan he was watching his game. I was sitting in a chair very close to him when a bad play upset him and he swore. I was really surprised because I had not heard him swear before but I managed not to look shocked. He turned to me and said oh I am so sorry. I had promised myself I would not swear in front of you.

I was confused. I asked him if Ted had spoken to him about this. I know that Ted swears, but never in front of me. He said no. Now I must have looked kind of baffled because he went on to say that he tries never to swear in front of religious ladies. Wow, I go to being called a godless woman to a religious lady. I thanked him but reminded him he was in his daughter’s home and her rules were effect. He laughed and said that even though he felt he could swear in front of his wife, his daughter and their friends that he would not offend me by swearing and he didn’t.

One of Ted’s high school friends came over to say hi. It really was good to see him. He surprised me too with a big hug. Then he excused himself, took off his coat and took possession of the baby. While he was there no one got to see the baby. This man is divorced and never had any children. I think he would make a good daddy.

When the cat, Chester walked into the house, all of the friends know Chester. Ted was teasing me about not knowing the cat’s name. I was bound and determined to prove that I knew the cat wasn’t Oscar. So I said come here Clarence. Chester came over to be petted, proving that no matter what you called him he would be my friend. Chester is a very large cat. Whenever I sat in the recliner Chester would sit on the top of the chair. Whenever Chester saw that crow through the window he would put his body between me and the window. He was my protector.

When everyone finally left I helped clean up and do the dishes. I showed Leslie how to use the wedges for support while her feet were up. I took Aidan for a couple of hours so that both Leslie and Ted could sleep uninterrupted for a while.

November 7, 2011
Day 16

I watched Aidan while Ted and Leslie went to the store. When they got home from shopping they bundled up Aidan and took him out in his stroller. Leslie is bound and determined to get back into shape. The only exercise that the doctor will allow right now is walking.

Leslie’s mom and dad brought over the best pork roast I have ever eaten. They also had potatoes, carrots and gravy. Ted and Leslie had left to go to the store so I was home alone with Aidan when they came. They wouldn’t hear of me waiting to eat until they returned. It was yummy, oh yummy doesn’t even touch the wonderful meal but it is the best I can do right now.

After Ted and Leslie returned home I borrowed their SUV. I visited for a while with Bev. There had been a family meeting. With this family that is a lot of people. Dela’s mother wanted to make all of the arrangements but she didn’t have a clue what was going on in Dela’s life. Jesse and the rest of the family overruled Dela’s mom and let the fiancé decide on the arrangements. The fiancé wanted the book that Bev bought Dela to be buried with Dela. He said just the knowledge of that book brought her so much joy he wanted it to go with her.

Bev was really sad tonight. I stayed to take a soak in the hot tub with her. We talked about many things, she has decided to talk to her daughter. It had only been a few months since they had their argument, but she never wanted it to go on as long as the feud had lasted between Dela and her mom. Dela’s mom is being very difficult to deal with right now and she is causing lots of extra stress.

November 8, 2011
Day 17

When I got up this morning Ted and Leslie were already up and bathing Aidan. Ted was showing Leslie the tricks of bathing a baby. Leslie was very intent of learning. She has been quite nervous about this bath. Before Aidan arrived on the scene Leslie had only held one baby before, her niece. She had never bathed a baby before. I have to say that Leslie did a great job. She dressed Aidan then they took advantage of a mild day and took Aidan for a stroll around the neighborhood.

After they got home from the walk Leslie changed the baby’s clothes again. I remember those times when I changed a baby’s clothes at a blink of an eye. Leslie settled in for a while for cuddle time with Aidan. Ted is off of work this week and he is kind of hogging the baby. He reluctantly handed Aidan over to his mom.

I went to the store for a few things then I dropped in on Bev and Jesse. I helped them clean up after another family meeting. At their request I cleansed the house and then put the house, Bev and Jesse in a bubble of light to help them get through the next couple of days.

I met with Bev and her friends at Wendy’s for the regular Tuesday night group meeting. I was very tired so I said good bye to these people who have become my friends and went home.

When I returned to Ted’s I took Aidan for a few hours so that the two parents could get some uninterrupted sleep. They still are in shock that they created the perfect baby.

November 9, 2011
Day 18

When I had left home in October I promised to go to a special bookstore in Lake Oswego for a friend. This morning Ted and Leslie had doctors appointments and they would be away for most of the morning. I decided today I would drive to the bookstore. Today was a very strange day.

As I was going through the apartment parking lot to the SUV a huge black crow flew around me 3 times. I actually stopped to watch him. I said outloud, please don’t poop on my head. The crow then landed near my feet. I was stunned to have this huge bird in arm’s length of me. It just looked at me. I explained to this crow that I don’t speak crow. I will tell you but you might not believe me, the crow nodded and flew off.
I enjoyed my trip to the Bookstore. I love visiting book stores. I found the things that had been requested of me and I headed back home. When I lived in this area I drove this route home many times. Today I got lost. I ended up in the West Hills. So I decided to enjoy my Magical Adventure. I wasn’t really lost, I knew how to get out of the hills, I still am not sure how I got there. When I got back to downtown Portland I knew how to get home again. I was careful to stay away from the center of town where Occupy was marching today.

I kept Aidan in my room for 5 hours giving Ted and Leslie the longest night’s sleep since the baby had arrived.

November 10, 2011
Day 19

Ted and Leslie lived on the top floor of the apartment building. They have a large window in the front room with a half of circle on top of the regular window. The top part of the window has no blinds so it lets in a lot of light. As I walked into the living room today my crow was perched on a tree outside looking into the room. When I mentioned this to them my son laughed and looked. Sure enough the crow was there. If I walked out of the room the crow flew away, coming back to his tree when I entered the living room again. Ted was amazed as the crow seemed to follow me as I walked around the room. He finally half joking asked me what I had done to make the crow mad at me. I told him just like I told the crow, I don’t speak crow so I don’t know.

I spent time with Aiden as Ted and Leslie went shopping. Leslie is feeling comfortable with the baby now. She is spending quality time cuddling with her little man. Leslie has started to turn into a Mama Grizzly. When I called her that she laughed. She didn’t believe that would happen but she wears her new title proudly. So I enjoy their daily shopping trips since then I can cuddle with the little man.

Late this afternoon I went to Bev’s and Jesse’s house. They had to drive to Seattle to pick up Jesse’s daughter, a nephew and a friend that wanted to be here for Dela’s funeral tomorrow. They asked me to me at the house to act as hostess when people started to arrive.

On the way to the house I was escorted by three crows. Every block I turned I saw more crows on the street, in the parking and in the trees. At one intersection I counted until 30 and then gave up counting. I guess that these crows are with me for a while.

I was pretty nervous about this job because of the experience I had at the party. But as family started to arrive I was hugged and kissed and welcomed into the family. Jesse had adopted me, therefore they did too.

When Jesse’s daughter arrived she headed straight for me hugged me and started to cry. I took her to her room. No one had been willing to speak of death to her. Although Jesse had many deaths close to him in the last few months Dela was the first death that she was close to. I let her ask all of the questions, I let her cry, I cried with her. Then she asked for a meditation and to be put into a bubble. So with all of the noise outside her room we created a small pocket of light for her to feel safe in. I told her never to be ashamed of her tears. Tears heal the soul.

Tonight I met the fiance. He was a kind man with a kind heart. He is taking custody of Dela’s ten year old son so that the son and the new baby daughter could be together. He is still in shock I am sure, but he is doing all that he can to keep things normal at home for the kids. I told him that I knew Dela had died happy. She had found the love of her life and had the family she always wanted.

The Rosary was read for Dela. I am not Catholic but I was memerize by the sound of the Rosary in Spanish. After everyone had left I cleaned up the kitchen and helped Bev get ready for tomorrow.

November 11, 2011
Day 20

Ted knocked on my door this morning to tell me that I had a visitor. My crow was back waiting for me. I think Ted was getting a little spooked by my crow. Ted said that while I am away from the apartment they never see the crow.

Today was Aidan’s doctor’s appointment. Ted and Leslie would be gone for most of the day and they knew I would be helping at the house today.

I left early today for the house. Dela’s funeral and graveside services are today and then the reception at the house. I had my escorts fly along with me and the crows along my route. I never would feel lonely with all of this attention.

I went to Subway to pick up the sandwich platters. I started setting up the food. A young man came over to help. He brought a bouquet of flowers for the family. We started to set up the food. Rod and Denise came to help. Denise had spent the day in the kitchen baking. She had platters of baked goodies for the reception. When we were finished setting up we decided to eat now. We wanted to be available during the reception. Just as we took our last bite the first of the family came in the door.

I visited with the fiance again, talked to all, made sure they all had food and just generally roamed the rooms and the deck to make sure everyone was comfortable. Some of the family found out that I was a Reiki Master and they sought me out to speak to me. It was a very busy day. There were around 200 people at the funeral. Everyone was well behaved. I got to see Cici for the first time since the powwow. She and I hugged and cried together. Dela’s mom only stayed for a few minutes. She was having a very hard time with her daughter’s death and dealing with her guilt.

When everyone finally left those of us that came to help cleaned the house and washed the dishes. Jesse still won’t talk about Dela. He is devastated and sad and closed off. He did give me permission to send him Reiki later tonight. Bev told me that she and her daughter are talking again.

When I got back to the apartment Ted and Leslie hoped that I felt up to cuddling with Aidan long enough for them to go to the store. They had made plans for their first Friday night with their little man. I watched Aidan, enjoying every minute.

Ted and Leslie got home. They had movies to watch and treats to eat. They cuddled up on the couch to spend Friday night with their little man. Aidan went to sleep, they did not. They stayed up all night waiting for him to wake up. I told them that they have to learn when the baby is asleep, they should sleep too.

November 12, 2011
Day 21

When I got up in the morning Aidan was just beginning to wake up. I scooped him up and took him to my room. Ted and Leslie had just barely gotten to sleep. Aidan and I spent a few hours alone together. It is hard work, but someone has to do it. When the parents woke up they ran to the store for supplies and then returned to take over the cuddle duties.

Bev came over to take me to a bazare. She stole the baby away from the parents for a minute for a quick hug. Babies in their innocence seem to connect us to the Universe in the best way. Bev and I were gone for a couple of hours. After the bazare Bev took me out to eat. She really enjoyed our outing.

Today was an Open House for Aiden. All of those who have already met Aidan and some that had waited until today to see him visited. They all brought food for the party and presents for Aidan. I am getting to know some these family and friends pretty well. I will be leaving Ted and Leslie and Aidan in good hands.

I helped clean after the party. I saw Leslie’s feet and sat her down in the recliner. I worked on them with the tuning fork. She loves Reiki and the tuning fork. She can actually see her feet go back to normal.

Jesse had bought some tickets to a fund raiser for Share House, the local shelter. He couldn’t bring himself to go so he asked Bev to take me as his represenative. It was a 10 course meal served at a whole food store. Lucklely everything was very small portions and I didn’t have to take anything that I didn’t want. We wandered around the store testing out the food. At the end of our trek around the store was the actual turkey dinner. It was a fun way to end the evening after we have had so much tension this week.

November 13, 2011
Day 22

Today is my last day at Ted’s. He goes back to work tomorrow and Leslie’s best friend will be with her all day. I sent them off shopping so that I could get some quiet cuddle time with Aidan. I am sad to leave, but it is time for me to go home.

When Ted and Leslie came home they had bought me a sweater. It fits perfectly and it will be ok for a while because I can wear it baggy if necessary. They had me model my new sweater and then they took me to dinner. We went to a very nice restaurant. I had a 6 oz filet migon. I shared some shrimp with Leslie. I got to bring half of it home, which meant my midnight snack was all ready for me. I felt very pampered today.

Ted spent some alone time with me just talking. He is very sad that I won’t stay longer. He doesn’t usually share his feelings so this was a special time for me.

November 14, 2011

I got up with Ted this morning. He has to go to work. He just wants to stay home with Aidan. He is a Fed Ex driver and he knows he has a busy day today. He peeked in at the baby, gave me a hug and left for work.

I stayed with Leslie until her friend was there. Leslie and I also had a great talk. I told her that I was very proud of the Mama Grizzly that she had become. She thanked me again for being here and keeping her calm during all the crazy times.

Chester seemed to know I was leaving too. He sat on my bed and in my suitcase while I was packing up. I have a box of books ready to mail to my son, the teacher. I have another box with the extra souveniers that I bought. I pulled my sheets to be washed and picked up my room. I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen before I left.

I was ready when Bev arrived to pick me up. One more hug for the baby and Leslie and I was out of the door. I told Bev that I had decided to buy a carryon bag instead of mailing the box. The box was going to be about the same price to mail as the bag would be. She took me to Wal-Mart to pick out a bag. I found a set with a big suitcase and a carryon bag. I grabbed it and took it to the register. Bev paid for it. I told her you don’t have to do that, she said I thought you were learning to be a gracious receiver. I just told her Thanks Bev.

Since I had only brought one suitcase to be checked in at the airport and I am allowed two I wasn’t worried about filling up my suitcase. I packed my suitcase with all of the extras that I had. I had about one half of my suitcase empty, and I still had my carry on bag. This was all part of Bev’s plan. She filled my suitcase and my carryon with the prepackaged meals that I had been enjoying. She even sent a box of oatmeal home with me because we had room to pack it.

At three thirty I got to go see Kaylie again before going home. I gave her some mittens that I bought for her and two crystals. Next time I see her she will be taller than me. It was a good visit.
Jesse sent Bev out on an errand and then he talked to me. He was able to share some of his frustration that he is feeling. He thanked me for being there. He told me one more time that Paul and I were family and we would always have a home with him.

At 8:00 we had a small Reiki share. I led a meditation and then everyone got to give and receive Reiki. It was a perfect way to end my visit here.

November 15, 2011
Day 24

We got up very early to get ready to go to the airport. I was surprised when Jesse went along. He hadn’t been leaving the house if he didn’t have to go.

I had to go through the machine at the airport. When I came out of the machine they told me that they had to pat me down. A lady patted down my legs. I didn’t ask why, but that sure confused me. Then my carryon bag had to be opened and examined. I explained all the food in there. They checked everybox to make sure it wasn’t open and then let me go through.

I flew home. Nothing much happened on the trip. I had good seatmates. I was one of the last to get seated. I sat between a man at the window and a lady on the aisle. We were almost to Kansas City before I knew that they were married. I told them I had never come between a man and his wife before. They really chuckled at that.

As I was heading towards baggage pick up I called Paul. I asked him where he was. I didn’t think he was there yet. The plane was 25 minutes early, we had a good tail wind. Paul told me to look right. There he and Kathy were almost to me. Kathy was excited to see Lay Lay again. I got really good hugs from both of them. Paul and I had decide that Kathy could be a part of my homecoming. She started to have a bad time with accidents at school right after she saw her mother the weekend before and it hadn’t gotten better.

We went out to eat on the way home. Kathy usually sits next to Grandpa at a restaurant but today she was my shadow, right next to me. We stopped and dropped Kathy off at Tom and Sandy’s. I shared pictures with them and gave them a quick rundown of my trip.

I went home with my love. It was a good trip, but I am glad to be home.

The Universe allows me to live and love. It taught me the importance of balance during chaotic times.