R18, D27

Today was another unexpectedly uneventful day. I thought more work was coming in last night or this morning, but it didn't - and there was nothing I could do to make it happen; it's out of my control. I tried to make the most of a free day - especially because it was sunny - though I was grumpy and grouchy. In part, it's hormonal; in part, there's an external circumstance that is making me increasingly frustrated. Even though I can't do anything to change it, my mind still gnawed on it like a dog with a bone (except for those few moments when I remembered that that wouldn't help).

I had to refill my water jars today (the tap water is undrinkable), which was $1.58. I gathered all my change and gave the cashier $1.60. Instead of accepting the two cents back, I told her to keep it and give it to someone who was short. This is probably the smallest "financial" give I've ever done - and usually, I do it all the time without considering it a "give" - but it was conscious.

Tonight, I played Free Rice (a vocabulary game that donates rice for every correct answer) up to 1000 grains of rice. 

I had a really awesome receive this morning. I was in a terrible mood this morning (depressed, anxious), so went to the coffee shop to at least get out of the apartment. One of the baristas (who is also a casual friend) not only gave me a coffee, but also she offered to give me a breakfast sandwich - I was soooooooooo hungry! I thought she wouldn't ring it up, but I discovered later that she paid for it out of her own pocket. Amazingly, my mood improved markedly after eating. It was a receive that really touched me and helped me enormously in the moment. 

This afternoon, I went up to the vet and asked if I could put a week's worth of cat food on my account. The receptionist had done this before, a couple of times, so I didn't think it was a big deal (except that I hate being in debt). She said she could, but also she said she couldn't do it again. She was perfectly pleasant, yet something about the exchange left me feeling judged/shamed. So there went my mood. 

I'd expected to be paid by one client this week, and that hasn't happened (if she pays me tomorrow, I won't receive it till Monday). I know two paycheques are coming in. I know that, and yet that doesn't help today (though granted, it's a lot better than not knowing what's coming when). I imagine I probably wouldn't be quite as frustrated if PMS and the personal issue weren't compounding the situation. Staying in the moment really is the only way to make it through, yet even doing so, there are times when I just feel like snapping. 

That said, I did eat today - twice! - and my cat now has food for the next week. So despite what my mind is ranting about, all is well.

Oh! And some really good news: The local food bank did receive the extra $5,000 thanks to all the clicks and signatures. I read this article and wondered how many of the signatures came from this site :)  THANK YOU to all who participated!

Hope you all had good Thursdays. Cheers!