After processing and percolating and recharging, I feel ready to build some momentum with giving again. I've given intentionally (almost) every day, and for about five days now, I've thought, "Maybe this should be Day 1..." which didn't strike me as the best way to launch a new round and new energy.
I think I needed to step away for long enough that a new round felt like a fresh start. And boy, has a lot changed in the past week. My upstairs neighbour has decided to move to another city, and there's been a shift (amicable, but still difficult for me) in my closest relationship here. I suddenly realized that I have no other friends locally. There are two people I'd call "casual friends," but that's it. And that was really, really hard to accept. I realized I need to put more energy into my real-world interactions. I've relied so, so heavily on the second friend - for a few years now - that I haven't felt a need for others in my offline life. And now...I do.
I think I may do this round offline (meaning, keeping a journal but not blogging daily). I haven't fully decided yet. It seems to make sense that, for at least 29 days, I should focus my attention and energy on my real-world surroundings. But I love this community, so I may wind up blogging anyway :) In any case, I wanted to check in on my new Day 1 (and I do think of you all, every day).
The other night, I came across this article, and it was exactly what I needed to read.
It made me think of the Post-it notes, which I love doing. And I realized I have some card stock left over from a very early round, as well as some tiny gift-tag-sized cards... and maybe I could make little cards, instead of leaving Post-its. I'm not a particularly crafts-gifted person, but I've always found writing what I need to hear to be healing.
So today, I wrote on one of the mini-cards: "You make a difference in the world." I cut out a heart, glued it on (hey, for me, that's serious crafting!) and wrapped a ribbon around it, since I didn't have an envelope. And I left it at a bus stop, for someone to find.
I'm going to keep writing what I need to hear. (The challenge is not making every sentence sound like a fortune cookie.) Maybe this whole round will be little cards... I'm not sure. In part because I'm so isolated, spontaneous opportunities don't always come up every day. I know I need to connect with people, and stealth giving isn't exactly the best way to do that in a literal sense, but... we'll see. I don't enjoy contact just for the sake of contact; I want deep contact with the right one or two people - which is hard to find. But I believe the first step is to put the energy out there.
I hope you're all well and having a good March so far. Cheers!