Round 4 Update--Day 15

My focus in this Round is self-care through Giving to Self (physical therapy) & Giving Back (decluttering my house).

 

R4 DAY 15 (Wednesday 2/15/12):

Same old, same old, but this is what my commitment was for the month & I really don't know if I'd be keeping it up if I hadn't said I show up each day & confirm...

*  YES I did.. ah... *most!*... (ahem) of my a.m. therapy routine & showed up for my p.m. session

*  No decluttering but YES did my online round of giving through freekibble, GreaterGood & WeGiveBooks

That has to be it for today.  Goodnight!

 

R4 DAY 14 (Tuesday 2/14/12):

Same as yesterday, but I'll take it... my commitment this month has to be my exercises & I am doing them.

*  YES did both my a.m. exercise session & my p.m. exercise session.  Ugh.

*  No decluttering but YES one small round of online giving with freekibble.com

*  Left another 1 of the $5 bills from Friday under someone's windshield wiper in the parking lot at work.  Not quite as fun as the 1st round Friday but it still just makes me smile. 

Happy Giving!

 

 

R4 DAY 13 (Monday 2/13/12):

* YES did my a.m. exercise session & showed up for the p.m. session at the physical therapy studio

* YES one small round of online giving with freekibble.com

*  Left another 1 of the $5 bills from Friday under someone's windshield wiper in the parking lot at work this morning.  It makes me just laugh & laugh.

That's it for today.  Goodnight.

R4 DAY 12 (Sunday 2/12/12):

* YES did both rounds of exercises as recommended, a.m. and p.m.

* Did the rounds of online giving today... freekibble, GreaterGood, WeGiveBooks

That's all for today & that's OK.  Gave myself a nap, gave my mom the gift of not cancelling my regular Sunday drop-in even though I did not feel I quite had the energy, desire, or time... a couple day-to-day activities that maybe don't really count, but it's good to see the giving feeling involved even if I'm not actually counting it.  There were a couple things I thought of doing on the way home to 'prove' I gave something else today, but it felt kind of forced and not-good-intention and I didn't want to do that (remembering Mbali's comments about avoiding forced giving).   I've done the minimum I committed to for the day & that shall be enough.  Because boy that exercise is quite the commitment.  And a child in a literacy program will have a new book because of me.  And there's a little more kibble out in the world doing its job too now.

Good night!

R4 DAY 11 (Saturday 2/11/12):

Wow, day 11 already.

* Skipped a.m. exercises... just sore & tired & needed to sleep.  But YES I am in the midst of my p.m. round right now.

* YES decluttered my desk some & put some scraps of paper in the recycling bin.

* EXTRA:  Left a 40% tip on a tiny lunch bill when I decided I just wanted somebody to wait on me while I was out today but didn't really eat that much.  Also left all my coin change at the register in a donation box at the counter of the restaurant.  And left all my coin change in the donation box a 2nd time at the checkout of another store where I had an errand.

I find myself a little tired and blank mentally and spiritually from all that excitement yesterday & I noticed myself being a little irritated with clerks or the waitress who wanted to chat a little... totally opposite from yesterday.  LIke I can get in The Flow for a day like that & then need to stop.  Not sure what that's about, but I have no doubt it's part of the 'learning curve' with the lessons this Challenge has to offer.  I am grateful to have the chance to practice with these feelings & see what exactly might be holding me up... or, on the other hand, become less concerned with 'figuring it all out' and just practice with just letting go.

* GIFT TO MYSELF:  Bought a new ergonomic keyboard and wrist rest last night.  It feels really good right now.  So did the massage therapy I had today.  :-)

That's it for today.  Off to finish my exercises and then rest and watch a movie, I think.  Goodnight!

R4 DAY 10 (Friday 2/10/12):

* YES I showed up for my a.m. physical therapy session.  Took a break from the p.m. session at home because I just had to go to bed.  That's OK for now & tomorrow's another day.

NOW--Here is The Story that Matters for today (WAY LONG STORY):

So, on my way into work after physical therapy, I stopped at a Starbucks store to buy a gift card for someone I work with in another company who has really gone out of their way recently to help me with a tedious project.  They are in another city and we've worked together for years and the relationship has had its bumps with this person.  I know that we are about to hit another 'bumpy' period & before we get into that, I just wanted to stop and say thank you to her for all that she did do for me on this other project.

And somehow it was just clear to me that her gift card should be for $50.  Which to me is an absurdly high amount.  And yet my intuition was just clear that this is what we were going to spend.  Even as I pulled into the parking lot at the store, my 'non-giving' voice was saying, "$25 would be just fine! She could buy plenty with that already!"  But I had a very strong sense that $50 was what it should be, and that's what I bought.

I paid for the card with a $100 bill that I had set aside in my wallet, and that's where The Flow started getting entirely out of my control.

"I can only give you $5 bills as change," the Starbucks manager said.  "That, and one $10 bill.  Is that OK?"

"Sure," I said, just going with it, "if that's what you've got--it's all the same!"

And I weirdly and instantly knew that having all those $5 bills was going to lead to something.

I broke the $10 with buying coffee for me and put that change away.

And I put the $5 bills in a separate place in my wallet.

And as I drove to work, I realized that those $5 bills were going to become money I spent on gifts or gave away in the coming weeks.  I just understood intuitively that they were supposed to be for 'something else' and somehow they didn't even belong to me anymore.

The 1st gift--as I drove to work, I wondered what come of this.  I remembered stories from this site about people leaving money for strangers to find as their Gift for the day... under a tree, at a bus stop, in a public bathroom, under someone's windshield wiper..

It was very exciting!  I got a little thrill thinking about it--

"Who does that?"

"Just leaves money around for people to find?"

"You can't just do that!!!--"

"Oh Yes I Can!!!!!!"

So when I got to work and parked, that's what I did... took out one of those $5 bills, let my intuition lead me to a car I felt happy about, and I popped one of those $5 bills under their windshield wiper and walked quickly away...

... with a spring in my step and a smile on my face and a wave of excitement and freedom carrying me through the rest of the day.

And a happy little day I did have.

The 2nd gift--After work, I had an appointment to take my dog to the vet to get a shot update.  I was happy, he was happy, and while we've had some 'incidents' in the past where he needed to be muzzled for them to handle him, this time he did not & it was over quick and easy, and he got lots of pets and attention to make it a good day.  As I walked to the front desk to pay, out of the corner of my eye I saw a clear plastic box with lots of money in it on the counter.

A donation box.

And as I wrote my check out, I knew I was being moved to go back and see what that was for, but it really didn't matter, because I trust my vet's office that if they put something out for donations, it's probably a good cause.

And I'm supposed to be giving that money away.

At first I thought,

"Wait--I can't be giving $5 away TWO TIMES in one day."

"That's just... ?????  too much."

"Find some spare change and put that in the box.  On any other day, that would be plenty...."

"This is getting a little out of hand if you're going to just start flinging money around at any cause that presents itself."

But I walked on over there with my 2nd $5 bill, read the story of the little dachschund who ate a corn cob and needed surgery except the nun who owns him didn't have much money, and stuffed my $5 bill in the box.

OK--NOW HERE IT COMES...

1st stop on the way home--the office supply store.  When I get to the counter, the 3-ring binder rings up at more than I thought it was.  "Oh, let me go check that for you," the clerk says.

"Nah, never mind, let me give you a courtesy discount right here, no problem".

And he takes a few dollars off the bill.

2nd stop on the way home--a restaurant where what I wanted to order for supper to go wasn't on the menu anymore.  "Oh, sure, we can still do that for you," the clerk says.

And she makes me up a special order.

And rings it up at an ala-carte price that took off a few dollars from what I expected to pay.

AND WHEN I GET HOME--

I pull out my little declutter project for the day.

A box that I'd thrown a bunch of papers and odds and ends in a few weeks ago that needed to be sorted.

And guess what I found in there?

Wait for it...

Wait for it..

You guessed it..

2 $5 bills paper clipped together.

!!!!!!!

HA!

R4 DAY 9 (Thursday 2/9/12):

* YES I did both rounds of physical therapy exercises, a.m. & p.m.

* No decluttering, but gave food to the shelter animals through freekibble.com.

That seemed to be it & maybe a little sparse... but it is *one thing* I did for others & now I have the habit of helping out every day with that simple action.

I also listed to a friend on the phone for 1) much longer than I planned & 2) spent much less time talking about myself than I expected.  I called her to talk about a specific subject, but she'd had a trying day and ended up telling me more than I was really interested in hearing.  But I found myself able to sit without impatience and let it be that this was where the flow was taking it & perhaps it was happening that way because she needed to be cared for more than I really needed to talk.  And that was OK.  And the feeling that it was OK was a gift to me in that situation.

Goodnight!

R4 DAY 8 (Wednesday 2/8/12):

* YES I did my a.m. physical therapy exercises & showed up for the p.m. round at the therapy place

* Did the online round of giving instead of decluttering (freekibble.com, WeGiveBooks.org, GreaterGood.com)

That's about it.  Felt happy today, lots of smiles & jokes at work, went out of my way to say a sincere thank you to the physical therapist when I left... no one thing else in particular but a general good mood is a gift, I think, to me & everybody else.

Bedtime--Goodnight!!!

R4 DAY 7 (Tuesday 2/7/12):

No grand gestures today but I hit on all areas & I think I will let it be enough & go to bed now.

*  YES I did my p.m. round of all physical therapy exercises.  That is all but it still counts.  I took a break & skipped the a.m. & I think somehow I just needed to; it was not slacking off.  Did some writing in the a.m. & went back to bed before the last alarm went off; it all feels like self-care to me for today.

*  YES Decluttered 1 tiny corner of my getting-messy desk & put 2 things in the recycling bin.  That is all but it still counts.

*  ALSO:  Gave food to the shelter animals through freekibble.com.  Always a nice way to start the day.

*  EXTRA:  Gave a deliberate & sincere "thank you" to one of the entry-level 'interns' at work who get stuck with the job of loading the lunch dishes in the dishwasher.  "Thank you--I know that's not the greatest job, cleaning up after other people...."  Feels good to acknowlege them when most of them have not met me and so don't look at me or talk to me when I'm coming through & probably don't expect me to interact with them in the break room while I'm in there.

* OH YEAH:  Also waved someone into traffic today from a side street when it was all backed up in the snow & they were not ever going to get out until someone waved them in

* OH YEAH AGAIN:  Put another item from the closet into the Goodwill box on the way to work when I ran into it & realized I was really not ever going to use it & wanted to get rid of it & so just put it in the box now already

Did more than I realized--hurray!

Good night!

R4 DAY 6 (Monday 2/6/12):

*  YES I did the a.m. round of physical therapy exercises on my own & went in for the p.m. session after work

*  I did online giving today (freekibble.com) without any decluttering

*  EXTRA:  I bought a community coupon book recently & there are some entertainment coupons in there I am probably not going to use.  I brought the soccer tickets coupons to work (2-for-1 on purchase of tickets) & gave it to our HR Dept to put up on the employee bulletin board for someone else to use if they wish.  I'm pretty sure one of the guys will snag them & in the meantime I felt good wanting to share that opportunity with someone else instead of withholding & letting it rot in the book unused.  Also--not controlling who it goes to = letting go of control.  Just send it out into the world and I don't even have to know the outcome.  Just be willing to share & give.

Goodnight!

R4 DAY 5 (Sunday 2/5/12):

*  YES I completed the 2 rounds of my physical therapy exercises today as prescribed, a.m. & p.m.

*  YES--BIG VICTORY--Decluttered my mountain of a kitchen table & Gave Back a bunch of stuff to the recycling bin & found 5 things to Give Away either to Goodwill or the animal shelter.

*  EXTRA:  Brought my mom a bunch of tulips to keep her cheered while 2 feet of snow melts off around her

*  EXTRA:  Did the online rounds this a.m. too (freekibble.com, WeGivebooks.org, GreaterGood.com)

R4 DAY 4 (Saturday 2/4/12):

*  YES I completed the 2 rounds of my physical therapy exercises today as prescribed, a.m. & p.m.

*  I did the online rounds tonight instead of decluttering (freekibble.com, WeGiveBooks.org, GreaterGood.com)

* EXTRA:  Today at the bank I *voluntarily* donated $2 to the bank's choice of charity!  Shocked me, actually.  I was making a deposit & they had these slips of paper on the counter to donate to Junior Achievement & the teller was taking a while at the back counter processing my deposit & it just went through my mind as natural as can be: "Hey, I could give to that!"  Like, an automatic "Yes!", instead of what used to be my automatic "Ignore", or at least "Ignore until asked & then decide."  So there I was, filling out this slip without even being asked (WITHOUT EVEN BEING ASKED) to donate my $2.  It almost surprised the teller when she came back around & I said, "and here's a donation for your cause, too".

AND THE RECEIVE: And then she says to me, "oh, well are you going to guess how many candies are in the jar?  That's part of it too."  And I said *no*.  (No, I don't need that.  Which, hmmm... stops the flow a little bit).  And she says, "Are you sure?  There's a $25 gift card if you win."  And my instinct was, *no* I do not need the gift card or want it AAACK this is going farther than I really wanted to get involved now.  And I caught myself & to make sure I *didn't* stop the flow, I jumped right in again with, "OK, sure".  And she gave me 2 chances because it was $1 per chance & I'd already donated $2 & I decided to let the flow send me a gift card if it wanted to & walk away smiling.

There is something in there about being out of control... if someone wants to give me something unexpected (like a gift card for winning the contest)... I am not in control.  As if I would rather have less but be in control than live in a wild universe where anything (good?) could happen but I am not in control.  I have uncovered this belief in other places in my life & here it is again.

* EXTRA # 2:  Did an online donation to a charity I want to send more money to this year, after I balanced my checkbook.  It's there to give if I let it be.

R4 DAY 3 (Friday 2/3/12):

*  YES I completed the 2 rounds of my physical therapy exercises today as prescribed, a.m. & p.m.

*  YES I did declutter the area around the ironing board, with several things Given Back into the recycling bin

*  EXTRA When I paid at the drive-through at McDonald's, I put all my coin change into the donation box for the Ronald McDonald house

R4 DAY 3 (2/2/12)--OK, actually it will DAY 2 now:

Well, I think I am going to regroup on the plan for February.  After looking at this month & the way it's starting:

* I did want to start on 2/1/12 again because it has 29 days & that is very fun.

* The cookie story from 1/31/12 I'm throwing in as a 'freebie' in between rounds.  It happened 'just because' I've become who I am now from these 3 Rounds of Challenge(s) whether I actually "count" it or not... & that is a gift to ME.

* My circumstances have changed.  I have 4-6 weeks of physical therapy starting this week & I already don't like how much time it takes to do all these exercises... like already 1 hour a day.  I have had very mixed feelings on this accident intruding into my life (somebody else not paying attention in traffic) & now I have to spend even more time on it?  I need to focus on WHAT I NEED TO LET MYSELF FEEL GOOD (also a subject on which I have mixed feelings), regardless of what happened that I don't.

* My goal also included giving away or getting rid of 'stuff' around the house.

* I liked what someone else said about February being a month of 'self-giving'.  I think I'm going with that.

So my plan/intention for February is:

* I will be giving to myself every day:  I hour of self-care/wellness in doing my physical therapy ("personal training) every day at home, for the 29 days of February.  I WILL BE ACCOUNTABLE IN THIS BLOG ON WHETHER I DID THIS GIFT EVERY DAY OR NOT.  I did do that yesterday, so we'll 'count' that as a Yes.

* Yesterday I wrote that online giving is OK, but spending time 'recycling' what's in my house would be time well spent at home too.  So my goal is EITHER the 3 online rounds I do (freekibble, WeGiveBooks, GreaterGood) or JUST A FEW MINUTES finding things to throw out, recycle, or give away.

* Any other giving to other people is an extra.

I know some of that contradicts what I wrote yesterday, but I think writing all that about what I already did helped me see more clearly what I need to do next.

What I did so far today:

* Cleared out some clutter on my desk & in the kitchen... "Gave back" into the recycling bin.

* I am going to go do my physical therapy now (1 round in full).  Big sigh... here I go...

R4 DAY 2 (2/1/12):

Can't believe I'm actually going on to a Round 4... but can't believe why I would ever want to stop, either.

Well, I thought I was going to start fresh on 2/1/12 since February has 29 days... but I also wanted to 'count' the cookies story from yesterday... so I guess I started yesterday.  :-)

Stayed home sick from work today & did the online round:

* Gave food to the shelter animals at freekibble.com

* Gave books to the literacy programs at WeGiveBooks.org

* Gave clicks to the programs at GreaterGood.com

What else?  To organize intention for this round...

* Finished up writing "What I Learned" on Round 3 & posted that here on the site

* Posted a welcome post for the new folks here who are starting 29Gifts on 2/1/12 with the 29 days of February

* I noticed today when I was walking the dog that a guy in the street talking to a woman in her car was actually asking for money.  I found I tightened up & called the dog & wanted to get away before he asked me next.  I did not like that in myself.  Now, maybe there was a good reason to get away & I don't want to doubt that feeling.  But part of it was just, "hey, I'm sick & I don't want to be bothered.  Yes, I have money I could give you but I don't want to & I don't want to have to give to anybody today."  ?!?  Not sure what to make of that.  I think it's OK to just say no & keep a good boundary if I don't want to give.  It's the tight feeling & wanting to not be asked that I did not like.

Which I guess made me sure I need to keep moving forward with my next round & see where it takes me.  Also... I did make sure to give something else today so that I knew I was not totally shut down.

Maybe I start fresh today after all & let yesterday's story be a "freebie" about what happens from this Challenge whether you are 'on the clock' or not... :- )

R4 DAY 1 (1/31/12):

Had the best time today, all for $3.50 for a box of Girl Scout cookies.

In the kitchen at work, I ran into a guy who had a sign on the bulletin board these past few days that he was selling Girl Scout cookies for his daughter's troop.  I thought they were all gone because they weren't on his desk anymore when I walked by, but I was wrong... he'd put them in the drawer.  So I walked back with him RIGHT THEN & bought a box of Samoas.  And then I opened it up.

Now I could eat that whole box by myself & I think I sort of planned to.

But an odd thing happened on the way to my desk--

I started offering them to other people.

"Here", I said to the guy in the desk next to me, "I'm eating for charity today.  Care to join me?"

"Oh, Samoas!!!", he says.  "My favorite!"

"Take two, they're small," I said.  "But I'm gonna make you stop at two to help you out tonight because I know you're doing the whole taking-up-jogging thing."

"Yeah, thanks!!!", he says, and we had a good laugh.

Next stop:  Woman on the other side of my desk.

"Take two, they're small", I said.

"Oh, Samoas!!!", she says, too.  "Yes, I have to stop at two, or otherwise I could eat the whole box!"

And so on, down the row.  "Oh thanks!!!"  "Oh thanks!!!"  "Oh thanks!!!"  Everybody was pleased as punch.  Even offered some to The Woman Who Doesn't Eat & told her, "Now just so you don't feel left out... ?"  ("Oh, no", she says, "I'm good".)  And I don't care to be a food pusher, so no worries there.  More for me.

Came around to my boss.  Yes, I see her as more of a real person now that I gave her a gift last round.  Offered her a cookie.  "No," she says as she's getting on the phone, "Thanks so much but I'm counting calories."  No worries there.  More for me.

So by the time I got back to my desk... I had just a few left for me... which was just enough... maybe a few more than I needed, but I don't mind :-).

Later my boss stops by.  "Any chance I could get a rain check on the cookie?  Maybe for after lunch?"

We both laugh.

"Sure!", I say.

"But just one!", she says, laughing.

So I eat all the cookies that are left... yumm!!!... except for *2*.

After after lunch, I pull out a bow from the little bag of bows I bought because of this Challenge, just to take to work, just to make random or unplanned giving a little more fun.

And I stick the bow on the Samoas box, the box with *2* cookies in it now, instead of the *1* that she asked for, and I leave the box on her desk, with a little note that says--in the true spirit of this Challenge coming full circle now--"One for you--and one to give away".

!

The End