Still Working It Out

Today- sad segment on CBS Sunday Morning about a meddling mom. I've long since forgiven her but recently reconnected to the man in question. I was 17 and he was 23. That was 26 years ago when I was a wild child following a performance group and eventually they took me with them. She did her best to run him off once the tour ended and she did. He never married and I went off the deep end until about 8 years ago.

I know it was her way of loving me. I have a child. I understand how sometimes mother love looks like everything but sometimes. I have a great life, as well. Just random thoughts. I guess I'm always stunned when faced with that old event. Is there more to work out or am I just being human- or is it something in between.

I write to feel better and my husband suggested I write the entire story in book form just for myself. As I was doing just that the boy in question tracked me down. Lots of communication between he and I and my husband. Some visits, too. That amazed me! He and his co-workers have given tons of input on what I've written thus far and it has been incredible to have their insight. There are so many things I buried and worked to forget or erase with alcohol and drugs. It's incredible to reclaim them.

My husband says he has loved this insight into me and that he sees me becoming more whole.

Regardless of the emotional roller coaster this entails, I do feel good today. I'm grateful for this day.

Doing Reiki today- free of charge. That's my gift.

I have a friend named Caroline who just found out she has a mass in her lung. Not sure the extent of it yet but she's asking for prayers. Of course I will pray and chant and visualize!

If you read this and you want to as well, please do.