The Gift of Approval

Recently, while driving home from the city, I had the talk with my teenage son. Not the birds and the bees talk or about not doing drugs. We already had those. This was even more important and most parents don't or won't have it.

I told my son that even though he did not turn out how I expected or wished, I respected the young man he had become and I was proud of him. I saw that he had overcome some of his limitations and moved in his own direction while still respecting the values I taught him. I praised him for his good qualities and encouraged him not to ignore his faults to continue to work with them. I told him that I trusted him and why.

I won't say this was the easiest talk, but it cleared a lot of unspoken misunderstandings on his part. He had been carrying this big chip on his shoulder thinking that because he didn't do X, Y, or Z, I didn't really like him and that because of the normal, stupid mistakes teenagers make, I didn't trust him either. So he, like most teenagers, had been hyper-sensitive.

If you need to have the talk with your teenager, or someone else close to you, just speak from the heart and keep it positive but real.