todays gift

What a wonderful gift this lesson is. I know that I am always, always afraid to give and then I am afraid not to give. I see others getting and then I do not get. Do I give to get? I give because I cannot not give. Guilt? maybe . Probably. I know that I am a people pleaser and I want others to like me. Then when they do I wonder why? It's all about me. I know that only I can hurt if I let the feeling happen. But I am feeling abused. By me then? How do I harden up? How do I not want to be good and give. Give it all. Give everything to the point where there is nothing left for me. I certainly see the world treating me the way I treat myself. If there is none for me then...I really don't need it. It's ok. It's not. What happened to me?