Unexpected Gifts!

I had no idea when I started this experince all that I would receive. I knew it would be great, and yet I was focused on the details of what would be coming into me. I must say that I am amazed at the rate of return, especially after only 4 days!

My gift today was caring for a friend's son. She had to get up at 3 am to have outpatient surgery on her leg. I gifted her with loving support and a temporary home for her 10 year old son! He came to spend the night last night and though we had a busy, full house I was delighted to gift her in this way. Again, I am so amazed at the speed that my gifts are returned to me.................I was then gifted with a surprise visit from my sweet cousins. In fact, my cousin Zeb came from the east and his sister, Jeni, came from the west. It was out of the way for Jeni to drive to our house and yet she did it anyway............and brought pizza! What blessings! What abundnace! What FUN!

Today was a busy day. I was invited to substitute teach at my son's school. I love being able to step back into the energy of the classroom as teaching is such a passion of mine. I left three years ago to teach a more expanded audience and follow my true calling. I enjoy being able to "pop" back in from time to time, connect with the kids, share my energy, insight and love. Then I get to leave at the end of the day without having a ton of papers to grade! It came to me around mid-afternoon that the minute I made a conscious choice to give, I instantly received a gift in return. I agreed to substitute, I get compensated. I share my love, attention and support with the students and..............receive the satisifcation of knowing that I made a difference in their lives. Yet the gift I received today, totally caught me off guard, which of coarse is the kind of gift I LOVE to give, gifts from the heart, unexpected, unplanned and perfect. The Universe knows this about me.

So on the way home, with a full car, rather than feel tired after the day (since I am in a bit out of shape in terms of working an 8 hour day!) I was happy and calm. My phone started buzzing and I figured it was a friend. It was not. It was my mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you read yesterday's blog, you'll get a sense of how huge and just how significant this call was. I had just shared my truth with my mother yesterday, in a letter. I didn't feel that she was ready to hear what I had to say so I wrote her a note that detailed everything, standing fully in my truth and affirming that I would no longer participate in her manipulation, mind games, and disintegrated behaviors.

She hadn't read the letter. So here it was, my gutt check. I knew I was being given the opportunity to voice my truth, yesterday I was gifted with fully connecting to it. I had had enough ill treatment, enough of the rude, immature, disrespectful actions. I was done. With truth I told my mother EVERYTHING. Those who know the challenge of speaking your truth to someone who you've previously allowed to hold power over you, also know the amount of shaking that was going on in my body! I am delighted to share that my mother was conscious, clear and aware, at this moment of the damage that had been done. She was willing to hear, willing to be accountable, and open to the healing process. I do believe that at least a part of her understands that I will no longer be part of, connected to or participating in unsupportive behaviors and actions.

My precious gift today was knowing that even if this person reacted in a hateful, angry and mean way, I had followed my truth. What I didn't expect was the appreication, openness and awareness that was offered to me through my mother's being. I don't know what the future holds. Her erratic behaviors seem to be on auto-pilot. I don't know that she has the ability or the strength to control it. I do know that I have been given the gift of living in the moment. The ability to fully connect, even if it is only temporary, I was able to see, feel and communicate with the mother that I know and love. I don't know if she will stick around. I am focused instead on the healing that is happening now. There is a part of me that is fearful that the old behaviors will sneak in when they are least expected, this is the pattern. Right now though, I can relish the gift that is here today, here now. The window that has opened. I now know that whatever the situation is, my truth will carry me through. That is the most important thing to me. It is not the outcome, it is the experince that is the genuine gift. The bow on this package was my mother's apology and willingness to communicate. Which totally made my day! Can you see me jumping with JOY!

Infinite Blessings,
Robyn